#troy otto angst

[escapist-of-fiction]

Title - Old habits die hard

One shot - Troy Otto x Fem Reader

Warning - alcohol use, mild language and some hot and heavy foreplay.

Disclaimer - I borrowed some of the characters of FTWD but that's all.

Author's note - I honestly loved writing this. Heavily influenced by the Chris Stapleton song that's included throughout. If you read, feedback is most welcome. Reblog if you think someone else might enjoy 😉

~ E

I know it ain't all that late

But you should probably leave

And I recognize that look in your eyes

Yeah, you should probably leave

-------

"A storm's coming," Nick murmured, his eyes lifting to the sky, squinting under a furrowed brow. No one disagreed with him. The air felt thick and the sky had turned a hazy, pale orange with streaks of dark pink running through it. Uncrossing his legs that were rested on the table, he stood up, stretching his arms above his head with a loud yawn. "I better go. I'm on the night shift at the gate."

"We're going to make tracks too," Alicia said, "I promised I'd help with prep the breakfast in the morning now the large group have arrived." She looked over at me as I remained in my seat, "are you coming Y/N?"

I shook my head, "not yet, I will soon. Promise." Alicia hovered on the steps of the veranda hesitantly, trying to read my expression but failed. She allowed herself to be ushered on her way by Jake, his hand laced securely with hers as she looked back at me curiously.

I watched everyone leave and stared up at the night sky, lost in my thoughts.

I knew why Alicia was reluctant to leave me behind. I had no reason to stay. Troy and I had broken up a month ago, albeit for the second time after a brief reconciliation. Ordinarily I would have followed everyone else. We'd been on a supply run earlier, the five of us, and had habitually decompressed over a few beers and some food after at Troy's.

Except now I couldn't leave without speaking with Troy alone, I had a bone to pick with him.

I heard the familiar thud of his boots on the wooden floorboards of the porch behind me and slowly turned around to face him. Troy looked around at the vacant chairs and seem mildly surprised that I was still there.

"How come you haven't left with the others?"

"Because I wanted a word." I said curtly. "I need to set something straight with you."

"Okay..." Troy looked at me in question, he crossed his arms over his chest defensively and waited for me to speak.

"On the supply run today, when we were killing that herd...I was fine, you know. I didn't need you to get involved. You can't just step in and save me all the time."

Troy's mouth twitched ever so slightly as he realised what I was referring to. He shrugged,

"Y/N, when we go on a run, we have each other's backs. We do it for anyone out there. That's just the way it goes. It's what the Militia do."

I rubbed my forehead in frustration,

"You know that's not what I mean, Troy. When we're out there, you need to let me be me. I can fight my own battles. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not yours to protect anymore." I huffed and turned my back to him to face the fields as I leaned over the side of the porch.

Troy's shadow loomed over me in the moonlight as he came to stand beside me,

"Fine. I promise that in future I will not have your back, nor will I be your second pair of eyes on a run or help you out. In future, I will just let you get bitten and count down to the minute until the moment I watch you turn."

I turned to scowl at him,

"You're an infuriating bastard, do you know that?"

Troy smirked, "you're not the first person to tell me that and you won't be the last." He held up a bottle of red wine, "drink with me?"

I shook my head,

"I should probably leave."

-------

There's still time for you to finish your wine

Then you should probably leave

And it's hard to resist, alright, just one kiss

Then you should probably leave

-------

"One swig won't hurt." Troy insisted as he twisted and pulled at the cork, with a 'pop.' "peace offering?" He said, waving the bottle under my nose.

I sighed and took it from him, helping myself to a generous sip. The red liquid tasted sweet and nutty. Clearly not the dregs of the apocolyptic world. I handed the bottle back to Troy with a questionable look on my face.

Troy glugged back the wine with a satisfied "ahhh" before answering me. "It's one of the old man's bottles. I found it behind his whiskey stash. He'd obviously hidden it for a rainy day."

I swiped the bottle back from Troy and drank a generous portion again before raising the bottle to the skies,

"Cheers to pilfering old Jeremiah's alcohol. His loss is our gain!" My wicked laugh echoed in the darkness.

I hadn't eaten a lot earlier on so I could feel the wine was going straight to my head.

This wasn't going to plan at all...

It all suddenly seemed too easy again. Standing together, laughing, sharing stories about everyone on the ranch. I had forgotten this feeling when I was around Troy. This is when it felt right. So why had it stopped?

With every sip of wine, my reasons for being mad at Troy and his stupid decisions seemed to peel away and disintegrate, as if they had never been there at all. I was losing myself in a comforting blanket of red wine and Troy's company. It was a downward spiral.

As Troy drained the last of the bottle, he peered down its glass neck to double check the contents was truly gone and sighed, before placing it back onto the table.

He came to stand next to you and looked over at Jake's house that he shared with Alicia. You noticed their porch light was still on - she must have been waiting up for you to pass. A similar thing must have run through Troy's mind as well.

"She won't be happy that you're still here, you know." He said it with a gentle nudge of his shoulder into mine. I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

"She's not my keeper."

Troy's look said it all, I scoffed and changed tact,

"She just cares about me and doesn't want me getting hurt..." again, I added silently.

Without realising, our bodies had gravitated toward each other, I could see his fingers twitch, wanting to reach for my hand but he decided against it last minute.

Troy lowered his voice as if the world were listening and he didn't want them to hear,

"I would never hurt you, Y/N. You know that. I care about you too much. Its why I do what I do when I'm out there..."

I bit my lip. It was so easy for him to say those words and for me to fall right back into his trap. They weren't lies. He did care about me and he didn't hurt me but it was everything else - the stupid decisions he made (without thinking them through) with a gun in his hand, the experiments, let's not even mention the obsession with his notebook...

I turned to step away from him but in one sly movement, he had closed the gap between us, his legs either side of mine, a hand on my waist holding me in place.

"I need to go... " I murmured, already fighting the magnetic pull that was drawing me closer to Troy, like a moth to a flame.

I didn't feel trapped . Right now I wanted this.

I wanted him.

"Troy, what are you doing?" I whispered. His hand reached for my cheek, his fingers grazing my skin and my eyes fluttered closed, succumbing to his every touch.

I felt the stubble of his chin graze my cheek briefly as he spoke,

"This is me saying goodnight," He said, and I gasped quietly as his lips connected with mine.

-------

Like a devil on my shoulder you keep whisperin' in my ear

And it's gettin' kinda hard for me to do the right thing here

I wanna do the right thing, baby

------

I should have stopped him right there and then, I should have turned and walked away but when your heart says one thing and your brain says the other?

You go with the burning desire that is rushing through your veins and making your head spin.

My hands moved up to grasp the collar of his jacket and I pulled Troy down to my height, eager to increase contact with him and deepen our kiss.

I grazed my teeth across his bottom lip teasingly, emitting a growl from deep within his throat and I smiled, knowing I'd hit his sweet spot. I knew him too well.

Everything about this felt familiar and delicious - the warmth of his hands as they found their way under my shirt, the circles he danced across my torso, the impatient tugging at the waistline of my pants.

I shook my head, "not out here.." I mumbled against his lips. I felt Troy's lips curl into a devilish smile before moving to my neck, leaving a trail of kisses down to my chest. Ignoring my request.

Insistently, I tugged on the bottom of his jacket, pulling him in the direction of the front door, hoping he'd get the message.

With a little laugh, he followed but known for his impatient streak, decided to speed up the process by picking me up. Without skipping a beat, my legs wrapped around his waist, my arms wound around his neck. I pulled back to look at him under the porch light as we passed through the doorway,

"This is such a mistake." I declared, almost groaning. Troy chuckled,

"No time for regrets. Hate me in the morning, darling."

------

Sun on your skin, 6 AM

And I been watchin' you sleep

And honey, I'm so afraid you're gonna wake up and say

That you should probably leave

Oh, you should probably leave

------

I woke up with a start.

I knew that I wasn't in my own bed but it certainly felt familiar to me. As I opened my eyes, I glanced around the room and found Troy sat in his favourite spot, his bay window, notebook in hand whilst he scribbled down in it furiously.

My hand went to my head, I could feel the beginning of a hangover rumbling.

"We did it again, didn't we?" I knew the answer. I didn't need him to confirm it.

Troy smirked, obviously enjoying as I squirmed in embarrassment, he placed his notebook down on the table next to him,

"Actually if you want to be really accurate, we did it again... three times."

I groaned inwardly, having no patience for his humour then threw a pillow in his direction, which he expertly dodged. I then began to move around the room, collecting the discarded clothing from the previous night and dressing myself in haste.

"Why are you in such a rush? I can make us some breakfast before you go..?"

I froze and looked at him incredulously.

"This," I began, pointing at both of us, "is not a thing. This was a mistake, a huge one at that."

Now fully dressed, I walked toward the door to open it but in three long strides, Troy had reached it as well and infuriatingly placed his foot in the doorway to stop me in my tracks.

I stared up at him, eyes wide in rage,

"You can't keep me here under duress, Troy. I'm not one of your prisoners. Let me pass."

"I will... if you answer me one question first."

I folded my arms in a huff and looked at him questioningly.

"Admit you enjoyed yourself last night."

I opened my mouth to give him a seething response but closed it again, he knew it would be a lie.

Of course I had enjoyed last night.

But this was the dance we did, Troy and I. We fought, we made up, we would do the same over and over. We were each other's addiction and no matter how much I fought it, I would always keep going back to him.

My silence spoke volumes.

Troy dared to reach out and push a strand of my hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

This was the Troy I fell for, the one that no one else saw. The softness underneath the hard exterior.

He tried leaning in for a kiss but miraculously I resisted, placing my hands flat against his chest to gently push him away.

"Don't push your luck."

Troy chuckled but nevertheless, moved to the side to allow me to pass and watched me jog down the stairs before calling after me,

"Same time tomorrow then?"

Gif not mine

[busylickingsatansballs]

The Lies We Tell.

Troy Otto x wife Trimbol reader

Summary: Y/N confronts Troy about their shared and complicated past, yes they're in love, yes he killed her whole family no this man can do no wrong. Don't come at me. Martha is a made up camp doctor.

Warnings: toxic, mentions of pregnancy, death, canon typical violence. Arguments, swearing and if you find anything else please lmk.

Troy couldn't remember how they'd got here, the back and fourth bickering had turned into a full blown argument. Y/N stomped into the tent Troy hot on her heels "because it's none of your business Troy." she shouted stopping in the middle huffing out a breath as she blew a stray hair out of her face.

God she was beautiful.

"none of my business? You're my wife." he spat "I deserve to know." she scoffed rolling her eyes.

"no you don't." she threw back balling her fists chest heaving from the intensity of their argument. "if you don't tell me I'll go find Martha and force her to tell me." Y/N scanned his face to see if he was serious, he was.

"cause that's your answer to everything isn't it, brute force. Tell me Troy, how well did that work out at the ranch?" Troy's face hardened.

"I'm not like that anymore, that was a mistake."

"all of it?"

"all of it." he repeated.

She shook her head "if you needed to know I would tell you." her voice was quiter. "you don't need to know not yet."

"I don't want you to leave me I wouldn't survive it not now. You have no idea how much power you have over me." he sounded pathetic but he didn't care.

"The feelings mutual believe me." Troy moved closer fingers dancing up her arm.

"You can always talk to me Y/N, always be honest."

She searched his gaze, face unreadable. "and you've always been honest with me? About everything?" she was digging, tone in her voice shifting suggesting she knew more than she let on.

He'd be a fool to lie now, but he did it anyway.

"Of course." Troy swallowed breaking under her scrutiny as the guilt weighed his eyes to the floor.

"Even what happened with Mike, Gretchen, my mom and dad." she knew. He dropped his arms from her skin but she didn't move away.

"How long?" he tried to speak but couldn't get out the words. I mean what would he say? 'Hey, How long have you known that I'm the reason you're an orphan.?' yeah no.

"Long enough." she whispered eyes dancing over his features, his eyes stayed down.

"I'm sorry." he started "I know." she didn't sound as upset as he'd thought.

"If I could go back-" she didn't let him finish that thought.

Carrying on speaking as if she hadn't heard him.

“I remember sitting there waiting, just waiting for this hate to take over and it just didn't. I still loved you, you killed my family and I married you, doesn't that tell you everything? And then it hit me there was nothing.”

Troy dared to look at her, she looked calm albeit slightly sweaty, her hair clung to her forehead stray curls framed her features.

"Nothing that you could ever do that could ever make me stop loving you.” she was crying now. He pulled her into his arms, relief flooding his system when she clung tighter to him.

"I didn't bring all this up as a guilt trip, I need you to understand that things are different now, I forgave you a long time ago. There are more important things to worry about now."

More important? What could possibly be bigger than this?

He didn't care.

He was too selfish to let her go. As long as she was willing he was going to try and if she wasn't maybe even then.

"I wish I could go back and change things I'd be different, be a better man for you. I need you, everyday you make me better."

He heard her sniffle, her shaky hands wiped her face as she took a step back to properly look him in the face.

"I'm pregnant."

Well shit.

[cicadasmoth]

some more 8b trick but angst

[obsxssedwithstuff]

Marshmallows

(angst/hurt fanfic, no happy ending, listen to Nick cave and the bad seeds - O children)

They were somewhere in Colorado, clearing a store whose size they’d underestimated. No matter how many wasted they killed, the growling didn’t stop and more came.

Nick had just opened a door when he got swarmed by the undead inside. He stabbed one, then another, blood blood blood. It was everywhere, on his face, his hands, arms, shirt, everything. Teeth clicked at him, accompanied by a low snarling. They tried to bite him, his arms, his body. He twisted and turned, shoving, stabbing.

Troy ran to save him from two aisles over. Shooting them in the head one after the other, his full focus on Nick, not noticing the infected creeping up behind him.

Two pulled him to the ground from behind, he stumbled and fell backwards, landing on his backside as another clung to his leg, and though he shot them in time and the adrenaline kept him and Nick both safe from getting torn apart once again, Nick couldn’t help but worry.

“Troy?!” he rushed over to him, still sitting on the ground and started frantically checking for bites, the arms, the legs. And his waist.

When Nick slowed his panicked movements Troy noticed what looked like bite marks in his friend’s shirt. “Nick,” he carefully lifted the shirt to reveal a bite, which he’d rather not have seen. “You too,” Nick sighed, leaning back to sit on the ground opposite to Troy. They just sat there in that empty store, thinking.

After a while, Troy made a disgusted face and shook his head, “I’m not dying like that” his voice cracked, “I’m not letting you die like that.” And he reached a for his gun, lowering his head so that Nick wouldn’t see the tears welling in his eyes.

He wasn’t afraid of dying back at the ranch, but now he would’ve liked to spend so much more time with this newfound freedom, with Nick.

Before Troy could say the next thing Nick got up wincing, stretched out his hand, “well, we’re not dead yet,” and cocked his head to the side with a light smile, “still got things to do.”

That evening they sat around a fire at the top of a mountain and watched the sunset. The smell of marshmallows engulfed them in a certain sweetness and neither would’ve imagined the apocalypse could be this good.

It wasn’t ideal and neither was really hungry but the sun’s red and golden light, the cool breeze and the slight splashing of the nearby stream made for a beauty they wouldn’t have appreciated before.

They sat next to each other while Troy turned his marshmallow over the flames, “Love.”

“What?”

“Have you ever been in love, Nicky?”

“I don’t know, maybe” and he thought back to Luciana, and to Gloria. “I think so, it’s hard to know.”

Troy looked at his marshmallow intently, “what’s it like?”

“Well, it’s not universal but… for starters, you like being around them and…”

“you value their life over yours?” Troy quickly added.

“Yeah. Yeah… you’d- you’d do anything for them. I think that’s the essence of love,” he looked at Troy, who was shivering some, still roasting his marshmallow but already preparing the next one with his clumsy left hand. Nick noticed how he’d occasionally miss the bag or stick by a few inches and then fully turn his head and very carefully, with a trembling hand, try again. He noticed the scar that had formed on his palm and the back of his hand.

“I’m sorry” and when Troy raised his head with a confused look, “about that,” Nick carefully lifted his fingers almost to his temple and made a face, pulling his hand back early. “Does it hurt?”

And Troy thought about his answer, “not more than everything else” or a joking “I don’t feel pain”, maybe a simple “what doesn’t?”. The pain came in waves, some days were better and some worse but it never really went away; he just nodded.

“I once heard someone say that the person you love is like a drug, they might be dangerous or deadly, but you’ll never get enough of them,” he was handed a perfectly crispy and soft marshmallow.

“Are you afraid? Of dying?” Troy asked, changing the subject.

Nick swallowed the last piece of his marshmallow, “No… Sad, disappointed, but not afraid.”

“I would’ve wanted to spend some more time with you…” and they sat there with only the crackle of the fire and the splashing of the stream to break the silence. They had been away for some time now, probably a few months, since the dam went up.

Nick chuckled “Well, we’ll be together till death do us part,” and he grinned at Troy, finding the absurdity amusing. He watched a smile spread across Troy’s face after he’d gotten over the initial surprise.

They put out the fire and walked to the little wooden cabin whose windows were broken and whose bedroom wall was stained with blood. There was one bed, like most other places they came across. It helped to feel another persons warmth in the cold nights. It was no different than sharing a bed with their sibling or a friend at a sleepover. Most of all, it was practical.

They walked and with every third step, their hands would brush - just briefly - and it almost seemed unintentional. But heck, they had no more than a day left to live, so if that’s what they chose to do with their last hours so be it - there was nobody around to judge anyway.

As the blanket covered them, warmed them, their hands lay entwined and neither said a word. A single tear, falling onto the bed. A barely there whisper, saying “I love you”.

And Nick turned onto his side and held Troy’s hand up to his chest.

And Troy turned onto his side and moved as close to Nick as he could and pressed his forehead against Nick’s chest, the “I love you” louder this time, accompanied by a shaky breath.

“I don’t want to die, Nick.” And he cried, and the last person he had left held him closer, because what else was there to do?

And when he stopped crying, Nick said “I love you”. But he didn’t know it was also when he stopped breathing.

“No. No Troy! Troy?” With shaking hands he cups his face, hands made wet by the last of Troy’s tears. Gently he runs his thumb over Troys scars, tears now streaming down his own face.

His breaths short and his throat tight, he reaches for the gun under the pillow. “I love you,” he plants the quickest, most gentle kiss on Troy’s lips, “I’m sorry,” and shoots him.

Everyone he’s ever known visits him one last time before he shoots himself too - and is with his last person.

Suicide-proof.

With a ringing in his ears and crushing pain in his head, he feels himself dying, a slow and painful death but it lasts until the sun comes up again. All thoughts are blocked out by the pain and Nick is almost thankful for that, but when he’s finally out - well, there’s nothing left.

[noemitenshi]

Excerpt

God, these feelings. His eyes burned just thinking about it, about how he felt accepted, adored, even. How he felt like he’d belonged right here with this man, his enemy, when no one back at the ranch had never quite managed to give this to him so effortlessly. How was he supposed to deal with this? How was he supposed to fight the Indian now?! When all he wanted to do was stay right here, beg him to be allowed to stay forever (and how laughably weak and utterly pathetic was that?). To feel so utterly devoted to the first person that showed him even an ounce of affection.

A broken sob threatened to escape – and he feared if he let it, he may never stop, may be swallowed up by this sudden desperation -the grief- that had swept over him, engulfing him, leaving no room for else. The indescribable pleasure he’d felt just moments ago nothing but a distant memory now, if even that, the wail in his lungs expanding further and further until he thought it would choke him – or break his ribcage open, split him up and why the fuck had the Indian done this to him!? It was that assholes fault,  of course it was. He’d found another way to make Troy suffer, just like he had before, had done it now so thoroughly Troy may never recover and fury finally slammed into him. Fury he welcomed. Of course he was furious, that was why he’d come here! That fucking stunt they’d pulled with the poisoned coffee, him wanting to get revenge—

His body moved, swiftly, all these malcontent feelings needing an out, and before the Indian had even registered the threat that Troy was, Troy had him straddled, a knife pressed to his throat with teeth gritted and grip white-knuckled.

And only when he gazed upon the Indian’s face, expecting to see… defiance, anger, fear? and instead seeing him meet Troy’s gaze unflinchingly did he feel the echo of eerie familiarity – the unmistakable feeling of déjà vu. He’d been in this situation before. Then, too, he’d been split open, laid bare unexpectedly and the same helpless desperation dressed as ruthless fury had been in him.

He was sure the Indian could  tell, could see his red-rimmed eyes (even though he hadn’t let a tear slip), could see his frayed expression. If he killed him, it would all be over. He’d take back control, take back all these things the other man had taken from him. He should, oh god, he should! Should slit him open, ear to ear, gift him a permanent  smile—

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go

Chapter 2

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

Your entire body was sore and uncomfortable when you woke. Your eyes fluttered open and you felt the pains of dehydration shoot through your skull as you moaned.

A hand was on your cheek in an instant, a cool compress pressed to your face and around the open collar of your shirt as you sighed at the sensation. It took a few long moments before your memories came flooding back…

Home. San Diego. Blood drenched teeth and screaming, planes overhead flying through the night as explosions and fire began to rage… your family… burning.

A shadow with blue eyes standing over you.

Your eyes flew open and this time you endured the pain the light caused. A face swam over you, but these eyes were not the familiar blue from your dreams. The face was unknown, but kind. It belonged to a man a few years older than you with short brown hair and a gentle smile.

“Welcome back, you had us all worried.”

You frowned.

Worried? Who was this stranger to be worried about you?

Noise suddenly overcame you. Voices chattering, footsteps falling in all directions around you. You even thought you heard the whinnie of a nearby horse.

You tried to swallow, tried to speak, but your voice was a broken husk of sound.

“Where… is he?”

The kind looking face twisted into something else. Concern, perhaps? He turned away, his shoulders stiff.

“You mean the man who found you out there?”

You tried to say yes but the sound that escaped you was more of a cough. Still, it seemed to be enough to be understood.

“That was my brother, Troy. But you should rest, don’t worry about anything else. You almost died out there.”

You wanted to explain you couldn’t rest. You’d been looking for this man, Troy, for so long. Maybe even longer than the dreams and the Pull had driven you east, you just hadn’t ever understood what the empty feeling within you had been until you’d been close enough to feel him.

A hand on your shoulder stopped you trying to sit upright and you saw something in his other hand that had your heart thundering. A needle, which he injected into the IV taped to your arm. You felt the effects of the sedative and fought the way everything about you began to swirl.

“I have to… find…”

You were unconscious before you could finish speaking and the kindly man let out a long, heavy sigh.

He’d known what his brother was doing these last few weeks, scouring the mountains and the wilderness like a madman. There was only one feeling that could drive someone on like that, through hunger and exhaustion and into dangers unseen. Jake had felt it himself just three years ago when he’d met his soulmate in a time and place he’d tried to forget. He’d had only months with her when the cancer that had ravanged her body took her from him, breaking the bond between them with a pain Jake thought he could never survive.

But he did. And as much as he had loved his soulmate the agony and the emptiness left in her absence was often so unbearable he wished he has never followed the Pull to her sickbed.

When he had returned home and confessed the last few months had not been spent completing his degree in law, but holding the hand of a sickly woman as she died, his brother had sneered and called him a fool. His father, who had never met his own soulmate and simply married whichever woman was willing to put up with him, had said nothing but looked at him with a mixture of sadness and disappointment.

Jake looked at the frail body of the woman on the bed. Whenever he had pictured the soulmate of his little brother he’d pictured someone filled with as much fire and darkness as his only sibling. But this girl, whose name they still did now know, seemed like a strong wind would knock her down.

He hoped with rest and time to recover Jake would see the strength in her that would be needed in Troy’s soulmate. Jake loved his brother, but he also saw the truth of who he was, even more so than their own father. And a part of him pitied this girl who was tied to Troy through no fault of her own.

No one really knew how the Pull worked; who or what decided made someone a soulmate for someone else. Jake knew of people who hated their soulmate and yet not being with them caused physical pain. He’d heard rumours of studies done on cadavers who saw actual scarring on the hearts of those who had lost their soulmates or chosen to remain seperate from them.

Jake remembered the arrival of Troy and his hunting party a few nights prior, when Blake had appeared in the medical tent with the scrap of a girl in his arms with barely any pulse.

“Who is she?” Jake had asked.

“Just save her,” Troy had snapped as he’d entered the tent. “No questions.”

With that he had turned and left, refusing to come near the tent since.

It had been obvious why Troy wanted the girl saved. But whereas Jake had refused to leave the side of his soulmate for days, Troy seemed determind to act like she didn’t exist.

Jake scratched at his head, the sweat on his brow irritating his eyes as he stepped from the tent and into sunshine.

If Troy’s soulmate died, especially now he had found her, his pain would be unimaginable. Troy had had a lifetime of pain, too much for someone so young. It was the cause of much of the darkness in him, even though Jake had always done his best to protect and shield his baby brother, there was only so much he could do as a child himself.

Jake had always worried for Troy, then he worried about Troy.

As he approached the canteen tent and his eyes fell upon the hunched figure of his brother, sat with his second-in-command and other members of the militia, Jake wondered what darkness would come from the loss of a soulmate, even one Troy was determined to pretend he did not care for, and for the first time Jake felt the swelling of fear within him.

[aquarian-queen]

So I mostly settled in so will be focusing on my WIP again!

Hope to share it with you both

[thesameselfdestruction]

Oooh so good!!!

So I just found out Luciana is confirmed for s4 and since I am a super petty bitch was wondering if you could write a trick fic where Troy lives and eventually ends up running into luci and nick. Nick has this relationship crisis but ends up choosing Troy? Idk if you can make this short enough for just a req fic but hey worth a shot to ask right? (never stop writing btw please)!!!!!!!

Sorry it took me a while to get to this one, I too am a bit of a petty bitch about this situation (mostly because I think they’re going to have them get back together like nothing ever happened between them in the first place), so I’ll gladly give this a shot.  

~~~~~

No Choice

Parings: Nick Clark x Luciana Galvez & Nick Clark x Troy Otto

Warnings: ANGST, Self-Destructive Behavior, Drama, A nauseating level of fluffy feels, Love Confessions, First Kisses

Notes: Thanks to @anon-ai for helping with the parts of the story in Spanish. I really appreciate it.

~~~~~

Keep reading

[wincheskka]

Familiar (part 2)

Pairing : Troy Otto x Fem!Reader x Negan Smith

part 1

Warning : angst, death mention, TWD & FTWD SPOILERS (If there are any other warnings let me know)

A/N : I'm really sorry to post the second part three months after the first part. I had to wait until the end of FTWD, to finally write/finish it.

English is not my native language, so i'm sorry if there are (i'm sure there are) spelling mistakes.

"He really looks like me" a voice says, this voice is familiar to you, so familiar, your heart starts racing.

You slowly turn your eyes where the voice comes from and you see a familiar person in the doorway to the dining room, your eyes fill with tears :

"Troy ?!"

Your voice shakes as you say his name in shock. You slowly get up from the couch and walk towards him, he smiles at you.

“Hi Y/N” He says when you are in front of him, with your teary eyes you look him in his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes that you thought you would never see again “I missed you”

This time the tears escape your eyes, the man you have never stopped loving is in front of you. The tears run down your cheeks but Troy's hands come to your cheeks and wipe them away, you close your eyes to this action.

“Hey I'm here now it's okay” He comforts you, you open your eyes and see him looking at you with so much love. He leans down and places his lips on yours, you close your eyes again and kiss him back, the kiss is so sweet, you think you're in a dream.

A few seconds later he pulls away from the kiss, you open your eyes and see him smiling at you once again. You can't believe he's back, that he's with you.

Suddenly you hear the front door open, you feel him quickly remove his hands from your cheeks, you turn away from Troy to look at the door. You see Negan enter the living room with a smile on his face but when he sees you, his smile disappears and he frowns in worry, he quickly walks towards you.

"Why are you crying ?" Negan asks, he places his hands on your cheeks and wipes your wet cheeks, it makes you frown because Troy did it a few seconds ago, tears must have flowed down your cheeks again without you realizing it.

You smile at Negan and gently remove his hands from your cheeks, you want him to meet Troy.

“Let me introduce you” You say, you see him frown but you turn to meet Troy's gaze but instead of blue eyes you meet a white wall, you frown.

“Introduce who ?” Negan asks in confusion, he takes your hand in his so you can look at him, you turn your eyes on him not understanding why Troy isn't there.

You walk into the kitchen dining room what makes Negan let go of your hand. You look to see if maybe Troy was hiding there but no sign of him.

You go back to the living room, you look around you with incomprehension and panic. Negan puts his hand on your arm to make you look at him, and you do.

“Calm down and tell me what’s going on” Negan tells you in a comforting tone, he starts to worry even more. Tears form again in your eyes, not understanding yourself what's going on.

Where is Troy ?

“You didn't see him ?” You ask him, Negan frowns at your question.

"Who are you talking about ?" He asks still with so much confusion.

“Troy” You answer him, looking around you once again. You start to breathe faster as the panic grows more and more.

“Troy is dead” Negan says, you look at him and shake your head knowing that you saw Troy alive in front of you, that he touched you, that he kissed you “You talked to me about his death"

“Yeah I know, I know but he was there” You exclaim, pointing to where Troy was a few minutes ago, a tear runs down your cheek “He was there you have to believe me Negan”

Negan's gaze softens and confusion turns to understanding, he sighs and moves closer to you. He places his hands on your cheeks :

“Sweetheart I think you had a hallucination” He tells you in a calm tone so you don’t panic even more.

“No, it wasn't, it was real, he touched me and he even kissed me” You exclaim, not thinking that you could have had a hallucination of Troy.

“It wasn't real Y/N” Negan still says in a calm and reassuring tone. Another tear falls down your cheek, he immediately wipes it away with his thumb.

Suddenly, your eyes is drawn to the living room entrance behind Negan, you look and you see Troy again, you let out a little gasp.

“He’s here” You tell Negan for him to look, he turns to where your eyes are looking. Negan's gaze returns to you and you look away from Troy to look at Negan, he rubs his thumb on your cheeks to soothe you.

“You don’t see him ?” You ask but you already know the answer just by seeing the expression on his face "Tell me you see him please" your voice breaks at the end of your sentence.

“It's a hallucination Y/N, he's not real” He answers, it wasn't the answer you wanted to hear, tears accumulate in your eyes, sobs also want to escape from you mouth.

Your teary eyes return to Troy and look him up and down and you realize something, his clothes, they are the same as the day he died, this time you let out a sob. The Troy you see is not real, you hallucinate him, it hurts you so much.

"Hey it's okay, I'm here for you" Negan comforts you, your eyes fall to the floor, just like the tears from your eyes fall on your cheeks.

You can no longer hold back all the sobs, so you let them escape with pain and sadness, Negan removes his hands from your cheeks to bring your head closer to his chest. You cry into his chest, he gently places his hand on the back of your head being careful not to hurt your injury.

You cry for several minutes, until your cries become sniffles, Negan slowly pulls away to look at you. You stare into space, lost in your thoughts, your eyes are red and swollen from crying. You can't believe you hallucinated Troy, why after all these years of suffering because of his loss, you have to suffer again ?

"C'mon, you need some rest" Negan says wrapping an arm around you, he walks to the stairs with you, he helps you all the way up the stairs. Arriving at your room he moves the blanket and helps you sit on your bed, then he closes the curtains and comes back to you.

You have a headache, you don't even know if it's because of the concussion or because of your crying. All you want right now is to sleep, Negan kneels down and takes off your shoes, you want to tell him he doesn't have to but you don't even have the strength to speak so you let him do it.

After he takes off your shoes, you lie down and he puts the blanket on you. He runs his hand through your hair and moves it away from your face, he leans down and kisses your forehead, you close your eyes at this action.

“I’m here for you, don’t forget it” He whispers on your forehead, you let out an exhale at his words. He moves away from you and walks towards the bedroom door but before leaving, he turns around to look at you "If you need me, scream I'm downstairs" You nod a bit, he smiles then goes out and closes the door behind him, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

"I'm here for you too" The familiar voice from your hallucination is heard, you turn your head to the other side of the bed and see him lying next to you with a comforting smile.

His smile doesn't comfort you at all, tears come back to your eyes. You just want him to leave you alone, you don't want to suffer anymore. You turn away from him and close your eyes so you can rest from everything that happened, from all the pain.

~

Two days have passed, two days of rest, two days of having hallucinations of the man you love. It hurts so much to know it's not Troy because your Troy has been dead for years. Negan helped you a lot during this two days, just to do simple things or to cry in his arms, you are very grateful that he's there for you.

Today James comes home, your injury on the back of your head still hurts a little but you know you can handle it, you just want to see your son again.

Aaron had said he would bring James back in the morning, unfortunately you slept most of the morning. You look in his room to see if he's there but don't see any sign of him, he must be downstairs with Negan.

You slowly walk down the stairs and look into the living room but you still see no sign of your son, there aren't even his shoes at the entrance, you frown, because he has the habit of leaving them at the entrance when he comes home. You walk into the kitchen dining room where you see Negan making breakfast but still no sign of James, what's starting to worry you. You approach the kitchen island and Negan looks up.

“Well, hello sunshine” Negan smiles at you.

"Hello Negan" You respond, smiling back at him, but you're still worried about where your son is "uh…where is James ?"

“At Aaron’s” He answers and your smile disappears, you look at him confused.

“But I thought Aaron was supposed to bring him back this morning” You remind him, maybe he forgot.

“Yes, but I told him to keep James for a few more days” He answers, your eyebrows furrow even more in confusion but also in surprise.

“Why ?” You ask wanting to understand why he did that.

“You still need some rest” Negan answers, looking at you seriously.

"Negan that's not your decision to make" You say severe but not angry "I'm his mom so if I want to see my son, I will" You turn away from Negan and leave the kitchen dining room, to get your son back.

Negan’s hand takes your arm, stopping you in the living room before you can go any further. You look at him confused by his gesture.

“Where are you going ?” He asks but you know he already knows the answer.

“I’m going to get my son” You answer wanting him to let go of you but he still holds you. “Negan let me go”

"I will let you go and let you get your son if you tell me that you no longer have hallucinations of Troy" He says waiting for your answer, you look at him for a few seconds, then your eyes are drawn behind him and of course you see Troy leaning against the wall. Negan notices your eyes going behind him “Y/N this is not good for you”

“Yeah I know that, thank you” You respond scarstically, your eyes return to Negan. You know it's not good for you but there's nothing you can do about it, you can just wait for it to pass, hope it passes even if it hurts.

“It's not good for James either” He adds, you look at him with incomprehension, not good for James ?

"What do you mean ?" You ask, starting to feel the annoyance rising.

“Do you think it's good for him that his mom sees his dead father” His words hurt you, your eyes change with pain in them, you know he didn't mean to hurt you but he did.

“You can’t tell me that !” Your tone rise against him, how can he say that to you !? “I can't control it, okay ? I would like but I can't !” He looks at you with pity, it annoys you even more, you don't want him to look at you like that anymore.

“I just want what's good for you and for James” Negan's voice are soft, but that doesn't change your annoyance.

"Negan you're not my boyfriend and you're definitely not James' father" Your words hurt him, you can see it in his eyes but you don't care he hurt you too with his words.

"I know I'm not but I'm your friend, I care about you and-"

“Get out of my house” You interrupt him, your words surprise him, you manage to free yourself from his grip.

“No, I have to be there for you” He retorts without raising his voice.

“You don't have to be here anymore, I feel much better” You look at him seriously “So now you can go home and leave me alone”

“Don't be like that, sweetheart” His words and eyes are soft, he doesn’t want you two to argue.

“Like what ?” You ask tilting your head to the side, your eyes are not at all soft like his.

“Like I did something wrong” He gets a little closer to you but you step back, it hurts him a little more.

“And you think you haven’t ?” You ask, raising your eyebrows.

“Oh c’mon Y/N ! I just did something that I thought was good for you it's not like I shit at your front door !” He exclaims, he didn't think you would react like that "I just wanted to help you"

His last words make you feel guilty for having reacted this way, what happened to you ?

Your eyes soften this time, they are filled with guilt, you feel bad. He's been there for you these past few days and just for one thing he did that you don't like, you get mad at him, you're truly the worst friend for him.

Negan sees your eyes filled with guilt, he takes one of your hands in his and you let him do it. You look away from him, look at Negan's hand hold yours. You both stay in silence for a few seconds.

“You should go” You break the silence, not meeting Negan’s eyes.

“Are you kidding me ?” Negan asks surprised, he thought you had changed your mind. You finally raise your eyes to his, your gaze is serious and Negan understands that you are not joking "Look Y/N, I get it that you're mad at-"

"No, no it's not that" You interrupt him in his sentence, you squeeze his hand and look at him gently "I mean I'm a bit angry yeah, but you're right, bringing James back here while I'm still seeing Troy isn't a good idea. If he sees me talking to someone he can't see, it would be hard to explain to him that I'm seeing his father" Your eyes go behind him and look at your son's father, he smiles at you with eyes filled with love and yours filled with sadness "It would hurt me even more"

Negan looks at you, he sees your sad eyes looking at the hallucination of the man you loved and knows you still love. Negan's eyes on you are so soft, he wishes he could take away all the pain that you feel and that you have felt in the past, you are his friend, his best friend, he only wants your happiness, he cares about you so much.

“I just need to be alone” You let out a deep exhale at the end of your sentence, your eyes return to Negan, who immediately shakes his head.

“No way” Negan looks at you seriously, he doesn’t want to leave you alone.

“Let me handle this alone please” You try to persuade him to leave you, he could do much more interesting things than being with you. Negan still doesn't like what you're saying to him, doesn't like the idea of ​​you being alone, you can see it on his face, you squeeze his hand to try to reassure him. "Like I told you, I feel much better and it's because of you, but there's nothing you can do about the hallucination, I just have to do this alone"

“It's not true you don't have to this alone” He says and he knows he's right, you smile at him, he's right, he can be with you.

“I want and I need to do this alone” You admit, you like having Negan with you but not for that. Negan looks you in the eyes, he would like to insist even more but if you say that's what you need, he won't insist anymore.

He nods his head to let you understand that he has given in and will not push anymore and you are so grateful. He approaches you, you understand that he wants to hug you so you place your head against his chest and he wraps one arm around you and the other places his hand on the back of your head delicately. You feel his lips kiss the top of the head, you smile loving this action.

"Don't hesitate if you need me" He says caressing your back, you nod against his chest. You both stay like that for a few more minutes in silence. You finally move away from the hug. “I made you breakfast, you better eat it” you laugh a little and nod your head again.

“I'll make you a pie to thank you” Not just thank him for breakfast but thank him for being there and to let you handle it alone. He smiles happy to learn that he will be able to eat a pie.

“Yeah but this time it's me who's going to get the blueberries” You couldn’t agree more with him. He keeps his eyes on you for a little while longer, then he sighs and walks away from you, your eyes following Negan leaving your house.

“Finally only you and me” The voice of the hallucination speaks, making you look at him, he moves closer to you, you don't step back, you let him move closer to you. “You know I’m here for you, you don’t need him”

“He's my best friend” You just say, Troy shakes his head, he cups your face with one hand, you can feel the warmth of his hand as if it were real.

"And I'm your boyfriend" He says, caressing your cheek with his thumb, you smile sadly and you place your hand on his hand that is on your cheek, you feel the skin of his hand under your palm, it seems so real.

"But you're not real" You let your hand fall then you move away from him to go into the kitchen to eat the breakfast that Negan made for you, leaving the hallucination behind you and trying not to think about it anymore, it's going to be hard, but it really needs to go away, for your own good.

~

You knock on the door in front of you and wait for someone to open it, you pull your jacket tighter around you to try to protect yourself from the morning cold. You woke up an hour ago and all you want is to see your son. Yesterday was a long day, Troy kept appearing and talking to you, it tired you even more mentally, so you really needed to do something else today and get out for a bit. You look around hoping Negan doesn't notice you, because you know that even though he told you he would leave you alone, if he sees you now, he'll just want to take you home.

The sound of the door opening takes you out of your thoughts, you turn your eyes towards the person who opened the door, Aaron's face is surprised to see you.

“Morning Aaron” You smile and raise your hand to greet him.

"Hi, I wasn't expecting to see you today" he says, still slightly surprised.

“Well I was going to go crazy if I didn’t go out” You laugh and Aaron gives an amused smile and then his eyes move around looking for someone, you know who he’s looking for. “Negan is not here” You add, it makes him feel better to not having to confront him. He moves away from the door and asks you to come in, and you do.

"We're having breakfast" He says closing the door behind you "You can join us, I think it would do your son good"

“And to me too” You add, it was hard to be without him for those few days. Aaron walks past you and you follow him until you arrive at the dining room where you immediately see your son sitting at the table with Gracie eating, you smile happy to see him again.

Your son's head turns towards Aaron and you when he hears footsteps and as soon as he sees you his eyes light up, you smile even more when you notice that.

“Mom ?!” He asks surprised, like he's not sure if you're really there. You approach the table at the same time your son gets up and wraps his arms around you, you also wrap your arms around him.

“Hi James” You say leaning down a little and kissing your son's hair, James is the first to pull away from the hug much to your dismay, he looks at you with a small frown.

“You finally healed ?” He asks with hope in his voice and eyes, it breaks your heart a little, you can see he just wants to go home but you know that won't be possible not while you still see Troy. You haven't seen him yet this morning, so maybe he's gone, but you have to be sure.

“I’m a little better but I still need some rest” You admit without telling him the real reason. The hope in your son's eyes immediately disappears, it hurts you to see. “I’m sorry honey”

“It’s okay, I just want you to get better” James smiles at you, your heart warms at his words, finding it adorable. You lean down again and kiss the top of his head. You pull away and look at Aaron.

“Would you like to keep him a bit longer ?” You ask Aaron, you don't want to bother him too much since he has a lot of things to do in Alexandria.

“Yes of course” He answers with a smile, that reassures you a little. You nod to thank him “Come join us for breakfast” He sits next to his daughter and looks at the empty chair for you to sit down.

“But I thought you needed some rest” Your son points out, you look at him and see confusion, you comb his hair with your fingers.

“I need it but I also need a breakfast with my son” You respond smiling which makes him smile too, he walks away, sits on the chair he was sitting on a few seconds ago. You take off your jacket and place it on the back of the chair next to your son then sit.

Around the table, the four of you eat breakfast, talking about what James did during these few days at Aaron's. James laughs and smiles, you miss hearing his laugh and seeing his happy smile, you need it because these days haven't been very happy for you, so just that, cheers you up.

You smile at your son and look him talk about how much he can't wait to see a movie. Aaron said that the Commonwealth is going to show the first Ghostbusters next week in their theater, you were surprised to hear that, it's been so long since you've seen a movie. James immediately asked you if you could go and of course you couldn't refuse, especially because of the way he looked at you with puppy eyes.

You're so happy to see him so excited to watch a movie, your eyes are suddenly drawn to what's next to him. Your eyes fall on Troy's familiar form, your smile falling at the sight of him. He looks at your son with a smile, the same smile you did, admiration in Troy's eyes is present and it hurts you so much.

Why does it have to appear now ?

Why when you are with your son ?

Why when you feel happy ?

This is the first time you see him with James and you hoped you'd never see him with him, because you know very well it would hurt you and that's exactly the case right now. It’s everything you ever wanted Troy to be there for your… his son. Seeing him next to James gives you hope but he's not real, Troy looks up at you, you keep your eyes on him but tears form.

“Can Negan come with us ?” Your son's voice asks but you don't even hear it. When you don't answer your son turns his head towards you, he's a bit confused "Mom ?" he shakes your arm to make you look at him and you do, you blink a few times so the tears don't escape your eyes.

“What is it ?” You ask your son, raising your eyebrows and trying not to show him that something is wrong, you don't want to worry him.

“Can Negan come with us to watch the movie ?” He repeats, not really paying attention to why you didn’t answer him the first time.

"Um…we'll h-have to ask him" You stutter while answering, James gives you a big smile at your answer, then he goes back to talking with Aaron and Gracie.

“I could come, I'm his father, not Negan” Troy's words, make your heart clench painfully. His words are true but Troy is dead and James needs a father figure, Negan is the only one you trust the most to be one.

“I have to go” You announce getting up from the chair, you take your jacket and put it on. You notice James' sad eyes looking at you, he wants you to stay and you want the same too but if you stay you might very well burst into tears because of Troy and you don't want that, not in front of your son. “Thanks Aaron for the breakfast and thanks again to keep James.” Aaron nods at you in response.

“Don't go, I want to be with my son” You try not to pay attention to what Troy is saying and you lean over the back of your son's chair and kiss the top of his head.

“I love you” You whisper into his brown hair, you pull away and he tilts his head back and smiles at you, it makes you smile a little.

You say goodbye to everyone and leave Aaron's house, followed by Troy who walks next to you, you put your hands in the pockets of your jacket and don't even glance at the hallucination.

"I don't understand why he can't come home with us" Troy says, you close your eyes for a few seconds and let out an exhale then you continue on your way without paying attention to him. "He should be with his mother and his father"

You walk faster now, just wanting to go home and sleep, without having to hear him again. Arriving in front of your house you quickly climb the porch steps then open the door at the same speed, the hallucination of Troy ready to enter but before, you close the door. You let out a sigh and place your back against the door, and close your eyes. You thought he was gone but no he came back when you didn't want.

“Are you ignoring me now ?”You hear the voice of the hallucination asking, you open your eyes and see him in front of you, looking at you with raised eyebrows, tears forming once again. You walk away from the door and enter the living room, you take off your jacket and throw it on the couch.

You turn to go into the kitchen but Troy appears and blocks your way, he raises his hand to take yours but you take a step back.

“Leave me alone” You beg, your eyes closing and your fists clenching.

“No” You hear him say, you open your teary eyes.

"Why? Why don't you want to leave me ?!" You ask, you are angry but above all very sad. He smiles at you sadly.

“Because you don't want me to leave you…again” The truth of his words make you step back once again, you shake your head “You like me being here”

“No I hate it !” You exclaim with a tear rolling down your cheek,he gets a little closer but you step back again and that makes him stop.

“And at the same time you like it, you can lie to anyone but not to me” he says the truth and you know it, your lips tremble ready to burst into tears.

"But you're not real" You repeat the same words to him as yesterday, another tear escapes from your eye "You're dead and seeing you hurts me, it hurts me even more when I see you with James"

Troy doesn't say anything, he just walks towards you, you don't step back this time, you're just tired of all the pain. His blue eyes look at you with so much love it was the same look he gave you after the first kiss you shared so many years ago. You smile sadly at this memory and Troy does the same thing like he remembers it too.

“Please, please leave me alone” Your voice breaks at the end of your sentence and you burst into tears, your knees give way and you fall on the living room floor, you can no longer control yourself, sobs escape from your mouth.

Arms surround you, you know it's Troy and you let him do it, right now you don't care that he's not real. You lay your head on his chest, closing your eyes and sobbing into it. He strokes your hair with one hand to comfort you.

“Do you really want me to go ?” Even with your loud sobs you hear him ask, you nod against his chest. You don't really want it, but you know it's what's best for everyone "All right"

You feel his lips on the top of your head, he gives you a simple kiss then suddenly, you feel like Troy's arms aren't there anymore, not even his body, just a coldness covers you instead of his arms. You open your eyes, you don't see his chest just the walls and furniture of your living room. You are confused your eyes red from tears, look around the room.

Where is he ?

You finally understand when you don't see him anywhere in the room, he's gone, he's finally leave you.

That he's no longer there didn't help, it's quite the opposite. The tears fall again, you put your head on the floor and sob even more, so much that the tears fall on the floor.

He was right you didn't want to lose him again, but that's what just happened, you lost him a second time even if it wasn't real. The fact that he's no longer here hurts you even more than when you saw him.

“Goodbye Troy, goodbye my love” You speak in a broken voice. You say goodbye to the hallucination but also to your Troy who died several years ago, you finally let him go, you were never able to do it before but now that you were able to see him one last time you can do it. You will miss him every day but now maybe you will finally be able to move on.

~

You place the pie in the oven, close the door then turn it on so the pie can bake. You look at the pie lit by the oven lights with a smile on your face.

“So, happy you finally made it ?” The voice behind you asks, you turn to the person still smiling. Your eyes meet Negan who also smiles.

"Yeah, I am" You answer and Negan's smile widens when he sees how happy you look.

"You seem to feel much better" Negan points out, he's right and you feel it too.

It's been five days now since you last saw a hallucination of Troy. You still waited two days to be sure and when you were, your son was finally able to come home to his great joy. It was still hard to no longer see him, no longer hear his voice, that's why on the evening of the second day, you went to see Negan to tell him and he immediately comforted you and that really helped you.

Now you're happy, you really are, you should feel bad for it but you're not, it's been several years now since Troy died, you have the right to move on and not feel guilty about it. You will never forget Troy, he will always be the person you loved the most, he will always be in your heart.

“I’m much better” Your smile gets bigger, you’re also happy because he’s here.

“You deserve it sweetheart” His words warm your heart but also what he called you, you feel your cheeks warm up like the first time he called you like that, now every time he does it, you have this reaction, you don't really know why. You move your eyes away from him and place them on the kitchen island in front of you, you have to clean it, you take a cloth and start to do it. “Thanks again for the blueberries”

“Well I told you last time I would go get them, I just kept my word no need to thank me” You hear him say, you look up at him and see him getting up from the stool, he approaches you, you frown but when you see him take the dishes you used and put them in the sink, you understand what he is doing.

“You don’t have to” You say but he turns on the tap and starts washing the dishes.

“I'm so used to helping you” He turns his head towards you and winks, you roll your eyes in amusement at that.

“I should hire you as a cleaning man then” You continue to clean the island, you can hear a snicker coming from Negan.

“I accept if I can have the sexy outfit” He turns his head again and gives you a smirk, you look at him and giggle imagining him in a sexy outfit.

“Deal” You say with a smirk on your face too, he raises his eyebrows you look at each other for a few seconds then you burst out laughing. You calm down and continue doing what you were both doing.

When you have finished cleaning, you stand next to Negan, leaning on the worktop behind you. You stare into space listening to the sound of the water for a few seconds then remember something you need to ask Negan.

“Oh before I forget, in two days the Commonwealth is showing the movie Ghostbusters in their cinema” You began and look at Negan, he turns his gaze towards you, with his eyebrows raised for you to continue “I'm taking James to see it and he asked me if you could come with us, so you wanna come ?”

"Ghostbusters ? You believe in ghosts ?" He asks amusedly without answering your question.

“Oh yeah sure, I put salt all over my house” You answer with a smilie on your face. “You should do it”

“Who says I don’t already do it ?” He gives you a mysterious look then turns his gaze to the dishes in the sink, you roll your eyes in amusement.

“So are you coming with us ?” You ask again.

“Do you really think I’m going to say no ?” He chuckles, it's true that you were a bit afraid that he wouldn't come but that reassures you now. He finishes washing a dish then puts it in the drainer to let it dry, he wipes his hands on a cloth, then he turns his body towards you. "Yes I will come"

“Great, James will be happy” You say, running your hand through your hair.

“Only James ?” Negan asks, you look at him with confusion in your eyes, he moves a little closer to you. “Aren’t you happy that I’m coming ?” a smirk forms on his lips, you roll your eyes in amusement once again, realizing what he's doing.

“Are you flirting with me Mr. Smith ?” You ask, raising your eyebrows and biting your lower lip.

“I wouldn’t dare Miss L/N” He anwsers, still with his smirk, you both look at each other for a few seconds.

You notice Negan's eyes looking at your lips, you lower your eyes from his to look at his lips. You raise your eyes to his, he does the same thing. Your lips part and your breathing quickens, Negan moves even closer to you. You two are so close, Negan leans his head towards you and you don't move away, you feel his breath on you getting closer and closer. There is almost nothing separating the two of you, you half close your eyes ready for what is going to happen.

A knock on the front door immediately makes you open your eyes wide and move away from him, you blink several times suddenly feeling very embarrassed by what almost happened between Negan and you, there is another louder knock on your door.

“I-I'm going t-to see who it is” You stutter and quickly move away from Negan so you can open the door. Arriving at the door you sigh to calm your nerves then open it, it's Gabriel, you smile at him "Gabriel what can I do for you ?"

“There’s a new group that just arrived” He announces to you, you hear footsteps behind you, you don’t need to turn around to know that it’s Negan. You frown well you didn't expect that but also you wonder why he came just to tell you that, Gabriel must understand what you're thinking "They said they knew Morgan" your eyes widen at what he said.

Could it be them ?

You look at Negan behind you, he is quite confused but when he meets your eyes he understands, your eyes return to Gabriel.

"Where are they ?" You ask pressed by his response.

"At the gate with Aaron" He answers quickly, you don't waste any more time and pass next to him and run towards the gate.

So many questions are popping up in your head and you're only a few steps away from having the answers. You finally arrive at the gate you approach a little closer with a smile but suddenly your smile immediately fades when you lay your eyes on the first person you notice.

You thought you would never see this person again

You thought this person was dead.

You wish this person would stay dead.

This person is none other than the person you hate the most in this world.

The person who killed the man you loved, the father of your child.

Madison Clark.

She is in front of you but she hasn't noticed you yet. The anger immediately rises, you see a cart full of weapons on it, certainly the weapons of each person in the group. You take a gun, you check if the weapon is loaded then move even closer and point it at Madison, this time she notices you.

Madison's eyes widen, not expecting to see you again, the joy that you had before is no longer present at all, it has been replaced by pure hatred.

“Woah Y/N ​​what are you doing ?” You can hear Aaron's voice say but you don't pay attention, you are only focused on the blonde woman in front of you.

“Y/N hey, don’t do that” You think you recognize June’s voice, it’s been so many years since you’ve seen her but you don’t even glance at her.

“Put the gun down Y/N please” It’s Negan’s voice who is next to you, he has just arrived and seen what position you are in right now.

You don't listen to him either and keep the gun pointed at Madison, she no longer looks at you with surprise but just with a neutral expression, she's not even afraid, that annoys you even more. You grip the gun in your hand tighter, so much that your hand shakes.

You can just pull the trigger, you can kill her, this time you're not afraid of getting killed and leaving your son alone. If you kill her now the people in her group won't be able to do anything against you, they no longer have their weapons and the people of Alexandria will protect you.

After all the pain you endured because of her, you have the right to kill her, to finally have your revenge. You put your finger on the trigger ready to finally shoot and let her get what she deserves.

“Y/N ?!” A voice exclaims in surprise, a familiar voice, a voice that you stopped hearing not long ago.

No you thought he was gone, why does he have to come back ?

Your eyes slowly move to where the voice was coming from and of course you see the hallucination, but something about him is not the same, he has nothing to do with the hallucination you had of him before. You stare at him and notice that one of his eyes is white like he can't see with it and a scar next to it.

You frown, you've never seen the hallucination of him like that before, so why would you now ?

It's like he's real, he looks so real even more real than what you've seen before. Your eyes widen because you finally understand.

It's because he's real.

"Troy ?!"

______________________________________________________________

A/N : I don't really like the ending of FTWD, so I changed it to fit my fanfiction and also so that I love it.

[insom-nom-nom-niatic]

I see you write Troy Otto Fics 🫣

“you fixed me. you fixed my broken heart.”

could I request a angst turned fluffy fic where Troy is being an ass but around reader he’s an awkward ass bc he doesn’t know how to process his feelings but one day reader confronts him and is like “dude tf” and he reveals it all ? 👉🏽👈🏽

It has been quite a while since I have done any requests and succeeded in actually writing them, so first of all THANK YOU. And secondly, this terrified me so I'm sorry if I changed a few things because that's how my head works.

CHARACTERS: Troy Otto x Female Reader

WARNINGS: Normal FTWD stuff. FEELS!

Everyone within a few miles distance could have heard the yelling coming from the militia tent. No one could tell who had started it when the ruckus had suddenly erupted moments ago. All you could tell was that the boys were finally fighting back at Troy, making your feet pace a little quicker and making your way across the ranch. 

When you made it to the ruckus, you noticed the eyes peeping through the windows of the outlying RVs and tents scattered around. Giving an all knowing smile to the peeping eyes, you quickly disappeared behind the tan curtains finding a group of 5 men squaring off against 2, Troy, with Nick holding Troy back. 

Your entrance was soon noticed and the group grew silent. 

“What in the holy hell is wrong with you all?” Toeing up to John who was rubbing the newly formed bruise on his jaw. Nick let go of his hold on Troy’s jacket, heading to the back of the tent with a grunting sigh, catching your gaze as he did so. 

“You have all been a bunch of children the past few days, and now this?” Turning on your heels you make eye contact with Troy. Scanning his features, you take in the red patches growing upon his cheek and jaw line before meeting his gaze once more, this time more worry and sadness laced in your eyes. “You’re going to attract every walker within miles, and if you’re all fighting eachother, who is going to fight for the rest of us?” 

All men in the tent sunk a bit in their boots, all eyes staring at the ground. Troy’s cheeks reddened, not from a sucker punch this time. You look over to Nick, a smirk turning at the corners of his lips as he stared back. 

“I’m sorry ma’am,” Cooper spoke up. “We had a disagreement. We will watch our voices.”

John scoffed loudly, his eyes shooting back up to Troy on the opposite side of you. “I think she should know. We’re done getting the shit end of everything and still getting shit on while others can skate by and get the royalty treatment.” His eyes then shifted to you, scanning your frame up and down. You could feel the hair on your neck raise at the feeling, and you could feel the way Troy shifted his weight behind you. 

“It’s not her fault,” Nick finally raised his voice. The tone sounding over this bull shit and ready for someone to lay everything out. “You’re all being a bit dramatic anyways. Troy hasn’t done shit, except be an ass as usual.” 

This earned a raised eyebrow and questioning look from Troy, standing with both hands on his hips. Everyone knew Troy was kind of an ass, that’s how he got the miltia where it is, but you had never really seen what everyone else said about him. He was typically kind and oddly gentle when you were around him. He wasn’t this “monster” you hear the ranch whispering about. 

“Troy-” you took a deep breath, your back still turned towards him with your eyes staring straight back at John. “-Say you’re sorry.”

The tent went still. No one, not even Troy, was expecting that. No one told Troy what to do other than his late father and brother, and after they had expired, no one would have ever tried. Let alone tell him to apologize. 

To everyone’s surprise, Troy spoke. 

“I’m sorry,” his voice low and grumbled through gritted teeth, but he said it. The men all shook their heads in response. Not knowing how or what to do next, they funneled out of the tent one by one. All as quiet as a mouse leaving only Troy and yourself in the space.

Turning on your heels, you lock eyes with the tall brunette. His face red and one eye growing bloodshot from what you assume was a nice hit from John. His eyes weren’t angry though… he was nervous as he tried his best to maintain the eye contact. 

“I didn’t think you would actually say it, but I’m glad you did.” Your lips turned into a gentle smile, closing the distance between you both. Your hands reached up to his face, cradling his jaw in both palms, fingers carefully brushing over the small cuts and broken capillaries in his skin. 

Troy returned the smile once he felt your warm touch. His blue eyes fluttering closed with a sense of comfort that felt so extraterrestrial to him. “Thank you for stopping us, Nick, that bastard, was close to getting his ass kicked too.” His voice cracked witha chuckle between his words. 

“Your still a ass though, Troy. You have to change that. I hear it from so many here, yet I never see it. So I know you are capable of being a gentleman, Troy Otto.” 

“If you tell me to, then I guess I have to.” Troy’s body shook with a mischievous laugh. His eyes opening to find yours once more. The closeness between you both instinctively closing little by little. “You fixed me, you know that?”

His words caught you off a little bit, making you stutter in your actions. His skin felt warm against your touch, his mere presence so close brought on a sense of safety and openness. You could have stayed like that for hours… days. It somehow felt right. 

What he spoke, however, caused a twisting feeling in your gut. 

“I was broken after everything, after everyone was gone. I was alone and hurt in so many ways,” Troy’s eyes softened. He had figured opening up to you would be impossible, his feelings always getting the best of him and taking any words he wanted to say and throwing them out the window. Bu here and now, with you like this, he was at peace. 

“I was broken and you fixed me-” His eyes fell from your own to land upon your lips, those nerves that had stopped him from saying it all previously appearing in his belly again. “-so thank you.”

You could feel his tension grow in the moment so you took matters into your own hands, raising to your tip-toes and crushing your lips to his. Years it had been since you had ever felt this feeling. Even then, it didn’t feel like this, not this strong. 

Troy was a pain in the ass. 

At times, an actual ass. 

But you were his golden key to change. 

And there was about to be a lot of it. 

[bxcketbarnes]

I’ll Find You

Pairing: Troy Otto x Reader

Author: @cxddlyash

Words: 3590

Author’s Note: So, this is for my fave @lovefilledtragedy writing competition! I did Troy because it’s her fix right now, plus Daniel is absolutely good looking in Fear the Walking Dead. But uhhh yeah. I hope you guys like this. :) Thanks to ma hoe @mf-despair-queen for proofreading this for me!

No Goodbyes - Dua Lipa

I’ve been friends with Troy Otto way before the end of the world. We had met in school before he was pulled from it. It’s hard to see your only real friend disappear from school, not really knowing what had happened to him until you go to the ranch where him and his family lived. In the short time I spent with Troy at school, I fell for him pretty quickly due to his incredible charm and rugged looks. Some say that he wasn’t in his right mind, coming from a dysfunctional home life, but I stuck by him through everything.

 The old world had perished into this new world only a couple months ago and now the infected walk among us. Troy had brought me to the ranch the day it started, telling me that it’d be safer there. Troy’s father, Jeremiah, always had a soft spot for me so he was glad that I was safe.

 Troy offered for me to stay in his room, telling me he’d find somewhere else to sleep. We had gotten really close that night…

 Troy led me to his bedroom, seeing the queen-size bed placed in the center. His room hadn’t changed at all since the last time I was here a couple years ago. I sat down on the bed, playing with my fingers as Troy moved some stuff around to make me feel more comfortable.

 “So, this will be your room. Um, I’ll probably just sleep in the bunkhouse or something,” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck as he grabbed a bag, packing a few things.

 I stood up, placing a hand on his arm, stopping his actions as he looked down at me. “You don’t have to sleep in the bunkhouse, Troy,” I whispered.

 He placed the bag on the floor, turning his body towards me as my heartbeat sped up, feeling it pound against my ribcage. “Well, where am I supposed to sleep then?” He asked huskily, butterflies soaring around in my stomach.

 “U-Um, that bed is big enough for two people,” I mentioned, staring up at him through my lashes.

 He smirked, chuckling slightly as his hand rested on my waist. “So… you want me to sleep with you?” Troy asked, grinning as I felt my cheeks heat up.

 “Jesus, Troy,” I muttered, hiding my face in his chest as he laughed, his hand rubbing my back. “You always loved to embarrass me. I guess that hasn’t changed,” I laughed, playing with the fabric of his shirt.

 “I just like to see your pretty face blush,” Troy muttered, lifting my chin up. My cheeks turned pink, trying to look away from him. “Hey, don’t hide from me,” He whispered, placing a small kiss to the corner of my mouth.

 A lot of shit has happened in the past few weeks. The Clark’s being the newcomers, witnessing a lot of the ranchers give them a cold shoulder. We almost had a war with the nation, claiming that Jeremiah had stolen their land. Troy’s been out doing dangerous missions, leaving me at the cabin, worrying my ass off and hoping he comes home alive.

 After Jeremiah sacrificed himself for us to live, Troy lost it. Even though he treated Troy like shit, Troy still loved him.

 Troy and I walked back to the house after placing Jeremiah in a wooden coffin, my arm wrapped around his waist as I rubbed his back. Once we had made it to his room, I closed the door behind us as Troy sat down on his bed. I sat down next to him, grabbing one of his hands, intertwining our fingers.

 “I’m so sorry, Troy,” I whispered, leaning my head against his shoulder. Troy glanced down at me, squeezing my hand in his lightly.

 “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” He muttered, pressing his lips to the side of my head. “I’ll be okay.”

 I was walking around the ranch, looking out beyond the fences as I waited for the militia to come back from their duties. My eyes focused on the abundance of vehicles coming towards the ranch and I sighed.

 “Here we go,” Alicia muttered, making me jump. I glanced towards her as she looked at me, apologizing quietly.

 “Is this a good idea?” I asked her, seeing the militia parking their buggies by the gate.

 “Probably not, but I guess we have no choice,” She mumbled, staring forward. I nodded my head, agreeing with her. I watched Troy, seeing Nick glance towards him as Jake walked up to Walker.

 Troy’s eyes met mine and I gave him a small smile, my heart swelling a bit as how the sun hits his face just right. Fucking hell. He gives me a cheeky wink, making me giggle slightly as he turned his attention back to Walker’s men who were now pulling their vehicles into the ranch.

 One day. One day Walker’s group has joined ours and chaos has already started. Terrance, one of Gretchen's friends decided to take it upon himself to attack the newcomers, resulting in Crazy Dog crushing his throat. I stood by Troy as the whole thing went down, his arm wrapping around my waist they brought Terrance to the infirmary.

 “I’m going back to our room,” I told Troy, rubbing his chest for a few seconds before walking away from him. His hand slid across my lower back, goosebumps appearing when his fingers grazed my exposed skin.

 “I’ll be there later,” He yelled to me and I glanced back at him, grinning before continuing to the cabin. “Hate to see you go, but love to watch you walk away!” Troy yelled again, making me burst out laughing as I shook my head, feeling my cheeks heat up.

 I sat on the couch, reading one of Jake’s books as Troy stared at his father’s desk, a scowl present on his beautiful face. “Troy?” I called out, getting a humming noise in response. I was about to ask him if he was alright when there was a knock on the door.

 Troy got up as did I, walking towards the door. “Go to our room and don’t come out until I say so,” He muttered.

 My lips parted, stepping towards him, my hand grabbing his bicep. “Troy…” I trailed off and he looks back at me. He placed his hands on my cheeks, pressing his lips to mine quickly.

 “Go, please,” He whispered against them, my heart pounding against my ribcage. I nodded my head, gripping his shirt as I looked past him, seeing a group of people standing on the other side of the door. I glanced back up at Troy, his eyes still on me as I leaned up, kissing his lips quickly before bolting up the stairs.

 I could hear a bunch of mumbling from downstairs, pacing around Troy and I’s room, biting on my nails. I jumped when hearing gunshots, quickly getting under the bed, tears pooling in my eyes as I try to stay silent. I could faintly hear Nick and Troy’s voice as they argue with each other, the sounds of guns cocking filling through the silence.

 “Do you think Y/N would want you to do this?” Nick asked Troy and I listened quietly for Troy’s answer.

 “Don’t bring her into this, Nick,” He muttered. My heart was racing, about to crawl out from under the bed until I heard more shots. A gunfight was raging through the house as I heard Troy’s provocative yells directed towards the Nation.

 Hearing heavy footsteps come up the stairs, the door to the room busted open, two sets of feet coming into the room.

 “Y/N?” Troy asked and I let out a sigh of relief, poking my head out from under the bed, seeing Troy and Nick standing in front of me. “You need to leave the house. I can’t have you getting hurt,” He mumbled as I got out from under the bed. My eyes trailed down his figure, noticing his bloody left hand and I gasped, grabbing it.

 “What happened?” I asked, examining it closely as I went to grab something to wrap it.

 “It’s nothing. Y/N… Y/N!” Troy yelled, making me stop in my tracks. I turned towards him, frowning as he sighed, strolling over towards me. “Please… I need you to go. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you got hurt,” He whispered, pushing some hair out of my face.

 I nodded my head, wrapping my arms around his waist, inhaling his scent. Tears began to slide down my cheeks knowing this isn’t going to end well for him. I walked past him towards Nick, resting a hand on his arm.

 “Don’t let them kill him… promise me?” I whispered quietly as Troy grabbed a rifle from under the bed. Nick nodded his head, giving me a quick hug before I run out of the room, running out of the house. People held up their weapons towards me, making me skid, falling to the ground. “Don’t shoot, don’t shoot,” I muttered, my hands in surrender as they lowered the guns.

 Madison ran towards me, helping me off the ground as she brought me to the bunkhouse. I kept glancing back at the house, my lip quivering as we walked into the room. “Maddie?” I quietly called out as she opened the door.

 “Yeah?” She replied, looking back at me as I stood in the middle of the room, ready to collapse any minute.

 “This is going to end badly, isn’t it?” I asked and she sighed, slowly nodding her head. A sob escaped my lips, crumbling to the floor, holding my hand over my mouth. Maddie whispered that she’d be back, heading back towards the shooting as I leaned up against the wall, closing my eyes as tears continued to slide down my cheeks.

 I sat against the wall for about an hour, staring into nothing as I played with the end of my fingers, hoping that Troy’s okay. I sniffed, rubbing my nose as the door opened slowly, watching Nick come inside. I got off the floor, stumbling towards him. “Nick, where’s Troy?” I asked just as Troy walked into the bunkhouse.

 I ran over to him, tackling him into a hug, crying softly into his chest. His arms wrapped around my back, rubbing it softly as his nose was buried in my neck. One of my hands ran through his luscious locks, holding back the sobs as we stood there, intertwined with each other, for about a minute.

 “Y/N, I need to tell you something,” Nick mentioned and I pulled away from Troy. I nodded my head, walking towards the door as Troy went to go sit at the small table. Nick and I walked outside, his hands shoved into his pockets as he looked at the ground. “There’s no easy way to tell you this, but Troy and myself are going to have to pay for the actions he did tonight.”

 “W-What are they going to do to him? What are they going to do to you?” I asked, running a hand through my hair, taking deep breaths.

 “I don’t know what they have planned for me yet, but I know there’s a possibility of Troy being exiled. It’s going to be your last night with him…” Nick muttered and my heart stopped. Exiled?

 “Oh no. No, no, no,” I cried, covering my face with my hands. Nick rubbed my back softly, bringing me into a hug as I gripped his army jacket. “I tried to convince my mom of having a lesser punishment, but I don’t think Walker’s going to budge. I’m sorry. I know how much you care for him. He needs you right now, alright?” He told me and I nodded my head in his chest, letting out a sigh.

 “Thanks for telling me, Nick. Be safe okay? I don’t know what kind of punishment you’ll get, but be safe. Don’t do anything rash like Troy.” I mumbled, patting his shoulder.

 I walked back into the bunkhouse, grabbing the first aid kit before sitting down next to him. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I grabbed his injured hand, unwrapping the cloth he had tied around it. I treated it and placed some gauze and wrap on it before holding it. I intertwined our fingers as it became a little difficult to see clearly with the tears pooling.

 “Troy, I-I don’t understand,” I mumbled, glancing up at him as his blue eyes were on me. “Why did you do this?” I asked quietly.

 “I don’t really have a good reason you’d want to hear,” He told me, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.

 For tonight

Let’s love like there’s no goodbyes (no goodbyes)

 “I don’t want you to go…” I mumbled, looking down at my shoes, squeezing my eyes shut. “I don’t wanna say goodbye.”

 “Then don’t,” Troy whispered, pulling my from the chair and lifts my chin up. I glance up at him as he stroked my cheek. “I’ve always loved you, you know,” He muttered, frowning softly as I bit my lip.

 “I love you so much,” I murmured quietly. Troy leaned his face down, pressing his lips to mine softly. I laid my hand against one of his cheeks, leaning on my tippy toes, melting into the kiss a bit. I move my lips against his as his hands came down behind my thighs, picking me up before laying me down on one of the beds.

 Just for tonight

Pretend that it’s all alright (all alright)

 My eyes fluttered shut as his lips never left mine, his body hovering over mine. I could feel my heartbeat pounding against my chest and butterflies soar in my stomach as his hands pushed my shirt up slightly. I gasped when his cold fingers hit my warm skin, gripping his shirt as he brushed his lips against mine before moving them down my jawline.

 Why don’t we hold each other, use each other, whisper pretty lies?

Just for tonight

Let’s love like there’s no goodbyes (no goodbyes)

 “Troy…” I moaned, his teeth nipping at the skin under my earlobe, my fingers trailing through his brown curls. He continued sucking and biting my skin, creating a mark on my skin before continuing to kiss downward. Troy sat up, bringing me with him as he pulled my shirt over my head, throwing it to the floor.

 I did the same with him, pulling off his green flannel tossing it to the side as he pulled off his shirt. My eyes trailed down his chest as my fingers softly moved down the center of his torso. Troy pushed his lips against mine, feeling the need and hunger in the kiss as he undid my bra, exposing my breasts.

 In a dark room

We don’t have to see the light of truth between me and you

We can stay blind in the meantime

 I laid back on the bed, the moonlight shining dimly into the bunkhouse as Troy left wet kisses down the valley between my breasts. My hands reached above my head, gripping the pillow as he began to unbutton my pants, pulling them down.

 “You’re so beautiful,” Troy whispered, pressing his lips to my thighs. I started to breath heavily, my panties pooling with arousal as his thumb came into contact with my panty-covered clit. I let out a small gasp, bucking my hips up a bit as I leaned my head back.

 “Fuck, Troy,” I moaned out a little louder as he pressed his thumb harder against my clit, his lips wrapping around one of my nipples. Troy’s tongue circled around my nipple, tugging on it with his teeth before moving onto the next one. I mewled quietly, gripping his hair as he pushed my panties to the side, stroking his fingers through my wet folds.

 Troy’s lips left my nipple, staring up at me as he slid two of his fingers into me. I arch my back, letting out a low moan as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out of me. He placed a soft kiss to my lips before nuzzling his head into my neck. “You like this baby?” He whispered huskily into my ear, goosebumps spreading across my arms as I shivered.

 “Y-Yes. It’d be better if you went faster, though,” I moaned out, gripping his bicep as his fingers began to move faster, leaving small kisses on my neck. The tips of his fingers brushed my sweet spot, moaning out his name.

 My hands moved to his cheeks, pulling his face up towards mine, pressing our lips together as his fingers left my folds. Troy let out a deep breath, running his fingers through my hair as his other hand fumbled with his belt. He managed to get it off with one hand, pulling his pants and boxers off.

 I sat up as he laid down on the bed, his hand wrapped around his length, smirking at me. I felt my cheeks heat up, glad he couldn’t see me blush furiously. I was about to go down on him, my hand grasping his hardened length when he stopped me.

 “I need you now,” Troy growled, sitting up slightly, connecting our lips, softly biting my bottom lip. “Ride me well, baby girl,” He muttered against my lips, his hands wrapping around my thighs, bringing me onto his lap.

 -

 I woke up to the sun in my eyes, groaning as I sat up, looking around the room. I frowned, remembering the events of last night before Troy and I had our intimate moment. I glanced down at the sleeping man, already feeling my eyes stinging. I grabbed the hand that was resting on my stomach, pressing my lips to the back of his hand.

 I slipped out of bed, quietly getting dressed as my mind raced with thoughts. I don’t want him to leave. I sniffled quietly, wiping the tear that managed to escape from my eye as there was a knock on the door. “Troy,” I muttered, crouching in front of the bed, analyzing his peaceful face. “Baby, you gotta wake up,” I whispered, pushing some hair out of his face.

 Troy stirred, grabbing my hand, intertwining our fingers as his eyes fluttered open. “Morning, Y/N,” His voice rasped out. I gave him a small smile, looking to the floor.

 “Someone’s here. Get dressed,” I told him, standing up before walking over to the door, seeing a very pale Jake standing on the other side of it.

 I opened the door as Troy finished getting dressed, sitting down at the table he sat at last night when he first got here. Jake gave me a small smile, hugging me tightly as I tried to hold the tears in.

 “How are you holding up?” He asked me and I shrugged, glancing over towards Troy.

 “Not very well. There was a point last night where it didn’t come to my mind,” I muttered while staring at Troy, his lips perking up a bit. “But now? I can’t handle it. Isn’t there any other way?” I asked Jake and he shook his head.

 I nodded my head, looking at the ground as I hugged my arms. “I’ll leave you two alone,” I whispered, walking out the door. I walked towards the group of people, finding myself standing next to Alicia. I felt her eyes on me as I glanced up, seeing her sad ones and I broke.

 A sob had escaped my throat as she wrapped her arms around me, rubbing my back softly while I cried in her chest. The others were staring at us, some with saddened faces while others had no emotion written on them at all. Troy and Jake walked out of the cabin, walking over to the truck as one of Walker’s men placed zip ties around his wrists.

 Maybe one day I’ll see you

Just smile and wave and be okay

For tonight Let's love like there's no goodbyes For tonight Pretend that it's all alright (all alright) Why don't we hold each other, use each other, whisper pretty lies? Just for tonight Let's love like there's no goodbyes (no goodbyes)

 “Y/N…” Troy called out and I lifted my head from Alicia’s shoulder, glancing towards him as me motioned for me to go over to him. “It’s going to be okay” He whispered, taking my hands in his as I shook my head.

 “It’s not, Troy. I-I can’t do this without you,” I muttered, tears sliding down my cheeks as I looked up at him. “I’ll find you. I promise you. I-I just need you to stay alive,” I whispered, gripping his shirt as he rested his forehead against mine.

 “I will. I love you,” He whispered quietly as more tears began to fall, sniffling. I wrapped my arms around his neck, enjoying as much of his company as I can before they take him away from me.

 “I love you too,” I muttered, pressing my lips to his, putting all the love I’ve had over the years for him into it.

 “Alright, c’mon,” Walker broke us up as one of his men put a bag over his head, placing him in the truck. Madison began to drive off as Jake stood next to me, rubbing my back softly.

I’ll find you, I thought to myself, my heart breaking slightly as I walked away from everyone.

[noemitenshi]

My current OT3 (now and forever? who knows) are these three beauties:

two of those are from the walking dead universe (Fear the walking dead, in order of appearance: Crazy Dog (Lee) and Troy Otto. The third one, Ri Ortego is a OC. Between Lee and Crazy Dog there's always an element of enemies to lovers, since they are on opposite sides of a conflict (over land). Ri is mostly (reluctant) ally to friend to lover.

In most of my fics they aren't yet in a throuple situation (i know, it's so sad! they are getting there though!)

There's only one (mostly pure smut) fic (and the follow up) where they actually have already exchanged 'I love you's:

I can’t stop imagining hurting you (9,424 words, finished, smut, fluff, Troy gets introduced to the concept of spanking) and the continuation Paint your body in hues of red (1,933 words, finished, smut, fluff, established relationship, wax play, facesitting). Obviously both are rated explicit.

The other three stories will definitely end up with the three of them in a loving relationship, they aren't there yet (I'm just sharing the ones where there's already a hint of polyamory though almost all my unfinished stories are planned to include at least one poly relationship. also i've got poly 'headcanons' for the finished ones, too, so feel free to ask me about it if you're interested, love to share), also, obviously, all that include smut are rated explicit.

Addicted to mess (203,566 words, WIP, (lots and lots of) smut, fluff, angst, wholesome, enemies to enemies with benefits to lovers, watch them turn an unhealthy relationship into a healthy one , also have I said smut yet?) In this one, we first watch Troy and Crazy Dog enter a relationship (and turning it from unhealthy to healthy). Ri comes to them later (little spoiler: she steals their tomatoes - it *is* the apocalypse after all and a girl's got to eat) and it takes a little for them (mostly Troy) to warm up to her. Currently (again, spoiler) Ri is aware of her attraction to the boys and Troy is slowly figuring out he may be attracted to her to. Oh noes, whatever shall they do!?

Lost & Found (39,199 words, WIP, fluff, angst, smut, Troy Otto being saved after the dam, finding his way back to himself, fast-burn, ’Addicted to mess’ chapters 1 and 2 happened in this universe too, rest of s3 happened as in canon) In this one Ri and Crazy Dog (Lee) are a couple already and they find an injured Troy and, little spoiler, save him (this is mostly Ri's doing). Lee and Troy have a bit of a past and so there's definitely attraction there between those two (and they are both aware of it). Ri also can't deny that she likes Troy, though she rather wouldn't, him being her boyfriend's ex-boyfriend* after all. (*not exactly, Lee described what they had as a one-time thing and definitely nowhere near boyfriend territory). How will they all deal with their feelings??

Second Chances (6,160 words, WIP, angst, whump, fluff, fix-it, Troy Otto survives the series finale but loses his memory in the process) In this one, Ri and Crazy Dog have been married for years, they travel the apocalypse together with a group of people dedicated to helping others (esp. injured people). They find Troy (who is almost dead at this point) and save him even though per canon Troy and Crazy Dog didn't part at best terms. So far not a lot has happened since Troy is still almost half dead but this is supposed to be a fast-burn, so fingers crossed that they won't take too long to figure out they all want one another ;)

That's about it. If there's any questions or things I should clear up, let me know! I tried to include relevant information in the summary for people that are mostly looking for poly representation and aren't too well-versed in the walking dead universe (honestly, I think all these can be read without knowing much more than 'there's zombies and now the world is fucked'. I mostly try to have my fics readable for people not in the fandom.)

Also, bonus gif:

if any of you have poly fics, drop a link and I'll rb!

[blessednereid]

Pity the Living

Daniel Sharman x Reader Series

A/N: The Much Requested, and By Requested, I mean @rogershoe wanted me to write this, MY DANIEL SHARMAN FANFICTION!!!!!! The character that Y/N plays is based on my OC for FTWD and is not an actual character in FTWD. Basic Premise of the setting for this chapter is that they're in high-school/ secondary school. But for the majority of the story(minus flashbacks) it's set in 2016/17 when s3 of FTWD was filmed.

Story Summary: When (Y/N) (L/N) reunites with a high-school friend on the set of the job she's been working on for the past 2-3 years, not only is she excited to work with the guy who inspired her to go into acting, but to hear about what he's done since she's seen him. But the more they talk, the more she realizes, this reunion is not going the way she had planned.

CW: Cursing? brief mention of alcohol, anxiety, mentions of food, fake dagger, fake blood, bets,

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Career Day

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Most of the students around you were chorusing to the tune of your school anthem, but not you. You had heard the melody and sung it almost a million times. Whether you were exaggerating or not, not even you knew. Instead, you were whispering and laughing with one of your best friends, Daniel Sharman.

You met Daniel when you first came to the school. You didn't know many people. You didn't even know yourself in this place. It was a completely foreign experience, but he stuck by your side and showed you around.

Since then, you had made friends, joined the swim team, learned your way around the school without ending up in the boys' restrooms instead of the girls' ones. Despite not needing Daniel to show you around anymore, he still provided plenty of comedic support and pick-me-ups and was a great mate all around.

Your teacher had just finished introducing all the parents who were presenting at career day. The assignment being after the presentations were finished, you were supposed to think about what you wanted to be in the future. You had no idea what you wanted to be. But of course… Daniel did.

"An actor."

"An actor?" he nodded. "Like Macbeth?"

"No, Macbeth is a character. An actor is a person who plays the character."

"Why an actor?"

"Dunno. Just seems right."

You frowned. "Huh, that's nice. Knowing what you want to be."

"You could always try acting. It's worth a shot."

"Hah, if I ever tried acting, it would probably be when I'm old, senile, and look like Betty White."

"Oh, come on. You're a great actress!"

"What's that supposed to mean, Sharman?" you gasped.

"Just that you tell fibs and stories as if they were the truth. That's all acting is."

"I DO NOT!"

"How did you convince your mum that your dog jumped onto the table and ate the cake without making any noise last weekend, then?" You opened your mouth to speak before closing it.

"Cat got your tongue?" he teased.

"Shut up, Sharman."

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L/N Residence

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You and Daniel were both swimming in the pool in your backyard when Daniel asked you the question.

"Did you think about it?"

Still floating, you asked, "About what?"

"Acting."

You laughed incredulously. "You were serious?"

"Of course I was." He swam closer to you and pulled your leg down, making you flop around and splash water.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"Was just trying to get your attention," he remarked innocently.

You coughed. "You had it."

"Picture this," he waved you off. "Us, on the red carpet-"

"Who's red carpet?"

"Does it matter? We'll be each other's dates anyways."

"Why is that?" you asked.

"Because we're best friends."

"What if one of us has a boyfriend or girlfriend?"

He shrugged. "Ok, whatever. We're on the red carpet separately. It's both of ours red carpet-"

"So, does that mean we're in a movie together?"

"Yes, Y/N," he muttered exasperatedly.

"But that's impossible?"

"Why do you say that?"

You leaned closer to his ear. "BECAUSE I'M NOT BECOMING AN ACTOR."

He jumped away from you, proceeding to splash you with water.

"Mark my words. I know talent when I see it."

You sighed. "Could this just be you not wanting to be lonely in the acting world?"

He jutted his lip and spoke in a whiny voice. "Maybe…"

You laughed before splashing a giant wave of water at him. While he still had water in his eyes, you dove under and pulled him down.

He flailed around before his head popped up, and he calmed down.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"PAYBACK, SHARMAN!"

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Announcement

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The intercom gave a heavy buzz, and static-y noises ran amok over the building before a voice actually came through the speakers.

"Hello, Teachers, Students, and Faculty. Welcome back to school. We hope that you all enjoyed your holidays and got the rest you needed to pay attention in class today," the last part was passive. Your principal gave more announcements for clubs and sports around the school, such as upcoming games or reminders for students to buy the school yearbook.

You were nodding along interested, or looking for interest really when something caught your best friend's attention.

"The school will also be hosting its first-ever play, Romeo and Juliet. Interested people should report to the music room before the end of the week to receive information."

You saw Daniel's eyes widen only moments before he spoke up. "Hey," he waved at you. "You should audition!"

"Daniel, are you insane?"

He chuckled, "No, but I think you'd like it."

You tried arguing, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. "You're the one who said you didn't know what you wanted to do after you graduated. Doing this cannot hurt."

"Yeah, it can't hurt until I trip on my costumes and break my neck!"

"That rarely ever happens," he said exasperatedly. "Ok, how about this? You audition, and if you end up getting a role and actually doing the play, I'll give you fifty pounds."

You squinted. "Do you even have fifty pounds to give me?"

"Do you even have to ask," he feigned shock in the accusation? You gave a sour face before he truthfully answered. "Fine, I don't have it now. But I will by the time the play comes around."

"What do I get just for auditioning?"

"I'll convince my mum to make that cake you like."

"Fine."

"BUT!" he exclaimed. "You have to audition for Juliet."

"You're kidding?"

He laughed. "No, I'm not. You have to audition for Juliet."

"I hate you," you mumbled before sighing a whispered 'fine.'

He gave a toothy smile. "Then we have a deal."

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Auditions

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You reluctantly walked onto the stage, Daniel's widening grin so visible in the audience. He said that he only put his name on the audition sheet so he could watch the auditions. He would've already been gone by the time it was his turn.

"Hello, My name is Y/n L/n, and I am auditioning for Juliet," your lips pressing into a straight line after saying the sentence.

You stammered through your first few lines. "Sh-Shall I speak ill of him— that is my husband?" You said with a laugh.

"Ah," you paused and clicked your tongue. "Poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name… When I, thy three-hours wife, have mangled it?"

You said your following line in an accusatory manner. "But wherefore, villain... didst thou kill my cousin?" you said, though your voice squealed trying to pronounce 'didst.' "That villain cousin would have killed my husband."

"Back, foolish tears, back to your native spring!" Your voice rose and fell several octaves. "Your tributary drops belong to woe, Which you, mistaking, offer up to joy." Fake tears spring to your eyes, your voice cracked, and you began slowly falling against an invisible wall.

You looked down at your paper for what to say next. "My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain; And Tybalt's dead, that would have slain my husband. All this is comfort; wherefore weep I then?" You wiped your cheeks dramatically.

"Some word there was, worser than Tybalt's death, That murd'red me. I would forget it fain;" your lips quivered, and you sucked in deep, heaving breaths before speaking your line.

"But O, it presses to my memory. Like damnèd guilty deeds to sinners' minds! 'Tybalt is dead, and Romeo--banishèd!" You shouted.

You stood back up in a startling jump, and with a proud smile, you said triumphantly, "And Scene!"

The directors and some students in the audience, especially Daniel, gave a round of applause before the director dismissed you.

You took the steps to the stage and sat next to Daniel as the director called the next student to audition.

"You were amazing! The director might as well have given you the role right then and there."

You laughed, "Hang on, charmer. There were a bunch of Juliet's who literally said that entire thing so… fluently. I stammered through the whole thing."

"But you showed more emotion than anyone else. You only had a week to prepare. The actual show will be like child's play."

"They want people who can memorize and recite. The emotion can be added later, but it's worth nothing if they forget their lines."

"There is such a thing called improvising for a reason," he reassured.

"Who in their right, bloody minds wants to improvise Shakespeare?"

He turned his head and chuckled before waving a five-pound note in front of your face. "Here, I got to go before they call me, but you earned this at least."

"Five pounds for being forced to audition for a stupid play so you can prove a point? Wow, you must really fancy me, huh, Sharman?" you said sarcastically.

"Goodbye, L/n," he whispered before sneaking out the back door of the auditorium.

"Alright, next up. Daniel Sharman!" The director shouted your friend's name a few more times before giving up.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Headmasters Office

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A week after your audition, you were called to the headmasters' office. Thus is the cause of the curious looks from your classmates. Oohs and Aahs flooded your ears as you grabbed your bag and headed out the door to the front of the school.

When you got to the front of the building and went into the headmasters' office, you saw the Theatre director, Ms Parker, standing behind the desk. "Headmaster Leo allowed me to use his office to do this. Isn't that cool?"

Ms Parker was one of the younger teachers in school. She was twenty-four, and this was her first year teaching after receiving her bachelor's degree in education and a master's degree in music production. A fact she could astoundingly ramble about for fifteen minutes. As proven at the auditions.

"I didn't want to call you to the theatre room. That would be too predictable, correct?" You'd come to realize she was a very eccentric woman. "I have called you in here to inform you that you have been selected to perform in this year's play of Romeo and Juliet."

A wave of shock coursed through your body, and you were sure it reflected on your face. "Are you sure?"

"Darling, I'm positive!- your audition was totally spectacular! So brilliant-in fact- that I am completely sure in my choice to make you our female lead- Juliet!"

"What!" Your eyes widened into a blank stare. Your thoughts were running rampant in your mind. You thought that performing on the stage would be a breeze when you weren't the lead.

"Ms Parker, I didn't actually want the part of Juliet! It's just that my friend dared me to audition for Juliet! Is there no way I can get a smaller part? I'm no Juliet. The show would be ruined," you rambled.

The directors' facial expressions softened, "Darling, you are the only choice. None of the other people who auditioned can even compare to the amount of passion you produced in that audition. I am determined to have you as our Juliet."

You whimpered out an "Ok." Professors had a strange way of convincing you to do extra credit assignments or things that aren't necessary.

"We have a chemistry read for you and a few of our other choices for Romeo after school today. Do you need to contact a parent to let them know where you'll be?"

"Uh, yes, please."

After you made your call, you walked back to your classroom with shaky hands. The class period was almost over, but you had to tell Daniel that you had gotten a part in the show. Not just any part- THE PART!

You shuffled into the classroom reluctantly. All eyes were on you as every student had assumed you'd been in trouble. Either suspended, expelled, or told your parents were going to have a sit-down with the headmaster.

You took your seat next to Daniel before taking out a piece of paper and writing out a note, encompassing the words, "I got the part!"

You slid the sheet discreetly onto his desk. When he read it, his eyes widened, and he quietly moved his hands toward yours, beckoning for a high five.

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First Rehearsal

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After the chemistry read, the role of Romeo was given to a kid named James Mercer-Allen got the part. Though it was more because the directors were starting to become tired.

The next day was the first rehearsal. Swimming season was last semester, so there was no clash in schedules with the play.

"Alright, this rehearsal is to get acquainted with the stage, your fellow actors, and directors," she insisted. "Now, let's introduce ourselves. Can our Romeo please stand up?"

James stood up and gave a brief introduction. You were called on next. You stated your name, "I was on the swim team last semester, and I'm in my thirteenth year. I hope I can do this role justice."

More students stood up to introduce themselves. The entire process took more than thirty minutes.

The next thing to happen was that the rest of the students were called to recite lines for various roles. The only parts that had been cast preliminarily were Romeo and Juliet.

You and James had sat on the wooden stools unless there was a scene going on that needed Romeo and/or Juliet.

By the end of the first rehearsal, the majority of the speaking roles were cast. You went home exhausted but not expecting the conversation that waited for you.

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The Talk

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"We're moving?" you shouted at your parents from your seat across from them in the sitting room. "What do you mean we're moving."

"Honey, your dad got a job in the states, so we have to move," your mother argued.

"But what about school? No school will take me in the middle of the year, and it's my last year of secondary school. I don't want to spend the rest of my last year knowing nobody."

Your dad, the man of the hour, spoke up. "Dear, we're moving at the end of the year. After school ends."

"But- What about Uni?"

"You said you were taking a sabbatical year!"

"Yes, so I could intern in London!"

"Can't you intern in California?" Your mother whined.

"We're going to California? It's the furthest state?"

Your dad attempted to reassure you but failed. "Darling, it won't be that bad. Maybe you'll like it there more than you like it here!"

"I could never like anywhere more than I like it here!"

You agreed to go to your room and spent the rest of the day there. Later on, after you finished moping, you ringed up your closest friends to tell them you were moving. You did that until you were so tired you fell asleep on the phone with Sarah before you even called Daniel.

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Confrontation

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"Why am I hearing from everyone besides you that you're moving?" Daniel appeared out of thin air behind you, and the accusation was an assault on your conscience.

You could lie and tell him that you wanted to reveal that to him in person, or you could just tell him the truth- say you fell asleep. Mix-and-Match? You ended up just telling the truth. "I fell asleep when I was making some of my other calls. I was going to tell you, I swear!"

"Why didn't you call me first. I'm your best friend?"

"That's why! It was too hard. I kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off because I didn't want to tell you, I don't want it to be true, and telling you of all people would make it feel real."

"Why can't you stay for Uni?"

"I already told my parents I was taking a gap year. I didn't apply to any colleges."

"Crap!" he sighed. "Ok, well, we're going to have to make the most of it. And! You're getting a going away party!"

"Daniel, I don't need-"

"No debate! You are getting a going away party!"

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Opening Night

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Four months later, after all the rehearsals and memorizations of lines. After much running around the entire film department, it was finally opening night, and your nerves were shot.

You were scrambling all morning to find everything you needed. All your costumes were at the school, but you still needed to bring your black leotard, skin-coloured tights, and wear your hair in an up-do style.

You decided to do your skincare routine, but your panic got the best of you, and you forgot what every single product was used for.

Daniel came over and helped you get ready but found you practically hyperventilating.

Your parents drove you both to the theatre, and when Ms Parker told you that Daniel couldn't be backstage, you promptly told her that he was your emotional support. After much arguing, she finally let him backstage.

Around an hour before showtime, the director told Daniel that he had to go wait in the audience if he already bought his ticket or that he had to go do it now.

Before he left, he gave you a pep-talk. "Hey, so one time, I was in this play, and the idea was that I was expelled, and there was a piece of paper I had to give my 'mother,' but I lost it. So we had to improvise, but I couldn't find the paper, and I felt horrible. So just know, even if you forget your lines, you must improvise, and remember, it still probably won't compare to the embarrassment I felt that day. So you can laugh at my humiliation. "

You chuckled, "I will. Ok, go before you get in trouble."

"Ok, me, our parents and all your friends will be in the front row. I've already reserved the entire row. I brought a whole bag of jackets just for that reason!"

"You can't do that," you said in between cackles.

"For you, I'll do anything," he grinned.

A few hours later and the show was almost done. "What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end," you wept.

"O, churl! Drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips; Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to die with thine restorative." You leaned over James and let your hair fall to the side of your head to cover your face. You pulled back without actually kissing James.

"Thy lips are warm."

A whispery voice came from offstage, "Which way?" The cue for you to take the poison, which was actually cranberry juice.

"Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!" You grabbed the dagger and brought it near your chest. "This is thy sheath;" you drew the fake knife back three inches from your chest and stabbed it to where the bag of more cranberry juice was and punctured the bag. 'Blood' soaked through your dress. "There rust, and let me die." You fell dramatically onto the altar and waited for the scene to end as the crowd cheered.

After the show, you dashed into the crowd where your friends and family waited for you. Ovations and Applauses were passed, lauded boxes of chocolates and gorgeous roses were given.

When you got to Daniel, he practically tackled you with a hug. "I actually thought you died for a split second. The blood looked so real."

"Daniel, most people don't bleed that fast, do they?"

"I don't know but fear kicked in, and I couldn't make sense of anything."

You grinned and almost went to your parents before Daniel grabbed your arm. "You don't have a date to the Leavers ball, do you?"

"No, I don't. Why?"

He sighed. "Well, I was thinking that you could go with me. I don't have a date either."

You squinted, thinking there was some ulterior motive behind his actions. "Ok, I'll go with you if you give me the money you owe me before then."

"It's right here," he smiled.

Your face scrunched up, but you reluctantly agreed. You only had a month of school left, and you might as well spend it having fun with your friends.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

The Leavers Ball and the Getaway Party

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You were dressed in a light blue, pleated, Mikado prom dress that cut off at mid-thigh. You had black wedges on your feet and a black pearl-beaded bracelet on your arm.

You were wearing a half-up, half-down style that framed your face and a silver necklace with a circle-shaped diamond.

You were sitting in the parlour when Daniel rang the doorbell. He was ten minutes late.

"Sorry," he said when your dad answered it. "I know I'm late. I was picking up Kat and James."

Kat and James were your and Daniel's respective friends who'd started last year after you and Daniel introduced them.

"Hi," you popped out of the shadows. "Alright, Mom, Dad, we're late, so we're just going to get goi-"

"Wait! I have to take pictures! Go get Kat and James."

"No, Mom. No pictures!"

"It's only right. I just want a few. We can take it outside."

You sighed but reluctantly caved into your mother's will.

The four of you took pictures outside of Daniel's Jeep Wrangler. You took ones with silly faces, just girls, just boys, and ones with all four of you before your parents allowed you to leave.

You were forty minutes late, and the ball was already in full swing by the time you got there.

You got on the dance floor immediately because one of your favourite songs was playing, but the DJ switched the song as soon as you found a decent spot. It was a slow song. You chuckled, and Daniel put his hands on your waist.

"Well, this is awkward."

A few minutes later, Daniel posed an interesting question.

"Did you know that I had a crush on you when you first came to school?"

"Uh, you stammered. "No, I didn't know that."

"Yeah, I did. It was short, though. Surface-level."

"Oh," you said. "Should I take offence to that?"

"What?" His eyes widened in realization with what he said. "No, that's not what I meant. You have an amazing personality. I just meant that… I just meant I like you more as a friend than to ruin that with any of those feelings."

"Oh, ok. You wouldn't have, though."

"I wouldn't?"

"No, everyone needs an ego boost every once in a while."

"Haha!"

"And besides, I've had feelings for you at one point too. But it was very cliche, so I tried to shake it as hard as I could."

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows. "And did you?"

"Like I said, as hard as I could. If it's still there somewhere, it's buried very deep, so much so that I was embarrassed."

"Embarrassed to like me?"

"I mean embarrassed to try and make my life seem like some movie."

"Oh, well, if you did, it would've just made you that much better as an actress. Speaking of that, would you consider acting in the least?"

"Maybe, now that I'm leaving, it's basically the last thing I have to connect me to you."

"No," he said, pointing to your bracelet. "You have that."

You had forgotten that it was Daniel who gave it to you, but the realization brought a smile to your face. "Oh yeah, I'll never take it off."

Later on, long before the ball ended, you saw many of your friends leaving.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" Daniel approached you.

"Where is everyone going?"

He wriggled his eyebrows. "Afterparty!"

"But it's not over?"

"Quit being a party popper and just come with us, L/N!"

You gave in, something you did a lot, and you all started driving. When you got there, you realized you were at Daniel's house.

"The afterparty is at your house?" you asked.

"Well…" James answered.

Kat joined in. "It's really an afterparty!"

"This is your going away party!" Daniel finished.

"But I'm not going away for another month."

"Well, now you have an entire month for people to give you gifts and stuff, and you don't have to worry about the party!" He reasoned.

"But why did it have to be after the Leavers ball?"

"Because you're already in a dress, and it has to be a surprise! Surprise!" Kat exclaimed.

"Alright, fine!"

The entire night you partied and danced, and though you didn't drink alcohol, plentiful amounts of pop and mocktails were passed around. The music was a delight to your ears with all your favourite songs. There were chips and pizza with all your favourite toppings.

"This party is awesome!"

Daniel grinned. "Well, I am an amazing party planner if I do say so myself."

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Airport

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

Daniel's parents drove your family to the airport. Your parents had sold the car. Your dad would return in a week to close a deal on the house. Everything was official, and now you were leaving.

You got out of the car, and the tears forcefully began to fall.

"I'm really gonna miss you, jerk," you said disdainfully to Daniel.

He chuckled. "I'm going to miss you more."

"Impossible!"

He wiped the fallen tear from your eye, and for a moment, you could see every single multi-coloured speck in his eyes and noticed how sometimes they looked blue, and at others, they looked grey or green.

You noticed the curvature of his smile and the chisel of his jawline.You saw the hurt in his eyes that said, 'why do you have to go? You're killing me,' and wanted to never move from that position.

He continued to rub the tears that fell onto your cheek, and the sad moment was as sheltered as it could be. You felt safe with him, in his arms, just looking at his face and being reminded of how he comforted you in a place that felt as familiar as Oz felt to Dorothy.

"What am I gonna do without you?" you whispered.

"Get at least one acting job, get an assistant and an agent, I'll do the same thing, and then either one of us has our assistants reach out to our agents, so we get back in touch in case we ever lose touch."

He sounded so grave that you couldn't help but laugh. "That's assuming I do become an actress, Daniel."

"You're right," he whined. "But don't forget me."

"I promise."

And you tried to keep that promise. Throughout your first year, you interned at UCLA, working in the lab. You then applied to go to school there, and you still tried to keep Daniel in your mind. Maintaining a social life on campus combined with schoolwork already wasn't easy. However, you still wouldn't let yourself forget your best friend.

It wasn't until you entered your senior year and you were about to graduate that he started to wane in your memories. The things you did together became obsolete as new friends and memories replaced the old. The things he taught you were thrown out to make space for the new lessons you learned each day.

Even when you did become an actress, you never really remembered why you decided to. You remembered that your friend pushed you to do that play, but it was almost ten years ago, and for the life of you, you couldn't remember his name.

But you did do it, first as an extra, then a body double, and then you started getting l roles on smaller shows. But your big break was getting a quasi-lead role on the spin-off of a big television show, The Walking Dead. For two years, you enjoyed going to conventions and playing the complex character, Valeria Bishop, and you thought you had it all figured out.

But life has a funny way of coming full circle and throwing you a curveball that knows you off course and changes your life.

[favvnsongs]

"He's not my friend and he's not my brother"

[noemitenshi]

Ghost

When Troy came to, he was drowning.

His mouth, his nose, his lungs filled with water. He coughed and spluttered and tried to get up from under, not even thinking about it, his body moving on instinct, flailing, convulsing and still it was so difficult to move, almost like someone was holding him back, holding him down – no, not someone. His clothes were as filled with water as was he, weighing on him heavily, dragging him down, but still he was moving, purely on instinct – on fear, all the while his head felt like it had been split open, bashed in, blinding pain pulsating, overwhelming everything else – feelings, thoughts, except for that panic. The panic taking over all of him and suddenly there was air.

He coughed even more, gasped, breathed it in greedily, and coughed some more. Every time his body shook with the irritation of the water in his airways his head felt like it would kill him, white-hot pain exploding behind his skull and he fought to keep it in, fought against the urge to cough while his body was still moving, still without him thinking about any of it, instinct, instinct having him in a choke-hold forcing him to stand up, the water had almost reached him again even though he was now sitting, get up, get up, get out of here.

Wherever here was – a cave? No, he remembered, it was the dam and… they must have triggered the explosives. For a heartbeat he stilled, convinced this was it. Why fight this. This, here, could be his grave. But the heavy clothes pulling at him, the pouring maelstrom he could feel wanting to consume him, made him move. Splutter some more, cough and drag himself upwards, on hands and knees, half-falling, half-standing. He fought and fought and fought to get to the exit, get out. He fought to keep his consciousness, fought against the searing pain in his head, fought against screaming it out for the world to hear – wanting to conserve his precious energy. Energy that was being sapped with every second longer he took, each half-step he fought to take.

Movement was making everything worse, especially the way his head felt like it was on fire and he had the urge to still but he couldn’t he couldn’t. He needed to… what did he need? His gaze swept the area before him, reflexively, unseeing, until it stopped dead on the bloody hammer on the ground a few feet before him. He scrambled up the ditch as if propelled by a higher power, his eyes never once taken off that gruesome sight. He was half-falling, half-climbing and when he finally closed his hand – that had been digging into the ground for support – around it he could feel again how it had connected with his skull – that was what that pain was (twice, she’d hit him twice and the second swing hadn’t even surprised him) and he swallowed. Touched his temple, so very timidly. Scared. Flinched and he could feel the ghost of how his knees had connected to the ground – it hadn’t been just the blow that had brought him to his knees. And he saw her face. Her angry, angry face—Pained. Guilty. He knew those emotions on her face only too well. They had disappointed him before – is that guilt!? But this time, this time he had hoped... had hoped she’d act on those emotions, too, just for her to swing the hammer a second time. Something absolute in her expression.

He wished it had killed him.

But it hadn’t – it hadn’t and he hated her for it. It hadn’t and so he dragged himself onwards, onwards, his hand cramped tightly around the hammer without him even noticing—freezing after all when he noticed the exit was buried under rubble. The explosions must have brought parts of the ceiling down. And water was already lapping at his ankles, his knees, it would drown him, there was nowhere else to go.

And the water seized him, pulling him under, tossing him around carelessly and he fought, he fought, without knowing why, what for – only to drown minutes later? But it wasn’t in his nature to give up, not even when the odds were overwhelmingly against him – not even now, when he could feel death’s unforgiving grip on him, crushing his lungs, drowning him – or no, not yet, not quite, not quite, he could still move and suddenly he was spluttering and breathing air, had made it to the surface and for an insane second he thought that if he never saw water again it would be too soon.

And then he felt like laughing – not that he did – not that he could, all of his remaining energy (and how was there still energy left, good god what would it take to finally kill him!?) focused on keeping him afloat.

The one thing whose scarcity was responsible for wars in this new world – and he was fucking drowning in it. His gaze turned heaven-wards, reflexively. He was not religious, did not believe – neither in god nor the devil, heaven or hell. But something about his imminent demise made him do this, this almost devout gesture – giving up after all, was he?

And a smile was actually spreading across his face – not in happiness but in spite. In victorious rebellion. There was an exit after all, in the ceiling, high, high above. If the rising water could get him there…! He just had to hold on a bit longer, just a bit longer.

So close to the finish line he suddenly felt how heavy his limbs were, how horrifying the pain in his head, his temple – how was he still conscious? Why was he always capable of taking so much more than others? When would it end? When would he be allowed respite?

But somehow he persevered. Somehow he made it outside, clawing and fighting, somehow he got away from the collapsing building, the raging masses of water. On hands and knees, dragging himself, pushing himself further, further, crying from the exertion of it. He would’ve screamed too, if he had the energy. And finally his body let him rest. He didn’t even have the spirit to hope it wasn’t forever.

-End Chapter 1-

[otto-serena]

"I do not know what you mean," Serena said innocently although a smirk was on her lips, "I always look at you like this." She giggled gently as Troy spun her around and began to wet her hair. She let out a soft breath and did as Troy bid, closing her eyes, leaning back into his slightly, and relaxing enjoying the feeling of his fingers working the shampoo through her hair. She liked that Troy was taller than her, especially since she was tall for a woman, she still felt short next to Troy, and it was nice, considering she was 5'7 and almost close to the height of the average man.

"I missed this..." Serena said softly after a few moments, breathing out, her eyes still closed, "just....I don't know, the simplicity of being with you like this. Almost feels like the world hasn't actually ended." Although in truth Serena often had the thought that her life improved after the fall of the world. She doubted her and Troy's paths would have crossed without the fall of the world, and now she had a husband she loved and a child she cherished.

"She...she said those things?" Serena asked gently, a softness sneaking into her voice as the words rang in her head, "Part of me was worried she might not always remember me...she was just six when everything happened. That's still pretty little."

"Look at me like that again and it will be two." He teases and moves back, grabbing her by the shoulders to spin her around. He guides her back further into the water so he can start on her hair, making sure it's properly wet. "Close your eyes." He murmurs reaching for the shampoo. Pouring it into his hand he lathes it through her hair making sure to scratch at her scalp as he does it, knowing she'll like it. It's times like this he likes being tall, allowing him to look down at her with her head tilted back. It reminds him that he ended up with a woman so far out of his league it's laughable. The kind of woman Jake would have made eyes at. The kind of woman that wouldn't have looked at Troy twice if Jake's poetry and charisma had been nearby. It's a good thing she never met his brother. "Tracy talked about you all the time you know." He feels like she should know that. Tracy always brought her up in the littlest ways that felt like a bullet to the chest. "Mom would like that flower. Do you think mom would read this? Can you tuck me in, no like mom does." He quotes the memorized lines back at her.